Feeling insecured

I am feeling insecured.
This old bad feeling is back to me.
I need to get rid of this.
It is not going to do me any good.

Why are you so bothered about things?
You know you have great friends.
Why compare?

Control your thoughts.
Tame your mind.
Don't let put yourself down because of useless comparison.
Cherish the things you have.
The grass is always greener on the other side.

Summer Memories

Let me just record down the things that happened this summer in USA.
I met Josh Meyer.
Initially I don't like him coz he looks like a nerd and his jokes are not even funny.
After spending sometimes to know him, I realize that he is nice and he is someone that can make me smile.
We went to ride the extreme ride together and I was really scared.
But because Josh is beside me, I know I am safe.

I am really happy with him around.
Sometimes I even thought of giving up everything and move to the states to be with him.
He only told me that he is going to miss me and nothing else.
I was sad, sad for the fact that it seems to be an one sided thing.

On the last day before I left, I cried in his arm
Coz I know that I may not get to see him again in the near future,
and I know that I am going to miss him.
Before I left, he didn't even give me a goodby hug.
He said that I was nice to everyone, but mean to him.
Perhaps that's his impression of me.

I wish that I didn't fall for him, but someone else like Dimitar instead.

比起其他的背包客前辈，我可能还算是小学生。去过的地方不多，也没有办法象有些人一样，放下一切长期的旅行。表面上以为自己很潇洒，其实旅行越久就越发现自己其实比想象中的脆弱.
有些时候，在路上久了，忍不住会想家，想朋友，想一个稳定的生活。有些时候，真的搞不明白为什么自己会喜欢这种流浪的感觉。可能是喜欢自由，也可能是想要逃避.
这次算是离家比较久的，去了美国打工度假两个多月。虽然去了美国两个月，不过感觉好象去了很久，跟有些朋友的友谊.比在家认识了三四年的多深。同为旅者，大家都比较OPEN吧，比较容易交朋友，比较容易把真心交给人吧.
缘分这个东西很奇妙，你可能跟有些人很有缘，但是却没有机会发展，特别是在旅途上遇到的人.走之前的两个星期，我发现自己喜欢上了一起工作的一个美国人。不过又能怎么样呢？只有两个星期，多两个星期我就得回去我的国家，下次见面的时候也不知道是哪一年。而且我不确定自己是喜欢上这个人，还是喜欢上这种感觉.
他很忙，一个星期工作快９０个小时，连休息的时间都没有了，何况是对一个都不太了解的我。我走之前的每天，几乎他都告诉我I WILL MISS YOU。我不知道他是不是认真的，可能对他来说，这只是一句平常不过的话，不过对我来说我却很认真。走之前的那天，我抱着他哭了,发现自己有多么的不舍得离开。我后悔自己早点做点什么，只是让自己好过点。
来自BULGARIA的好友却说，不要难过，如果有缘分，还是会再见面的.我很相信这句话，这次旅行的时候就在美国见到了两个十年不见的小学同学，也见到了去年旅行时在越南遇到的杭州女生们。只是就算下次我再看到他，感觉还是一样的吗？
我不确定，人生就是太多的不确定。

You need to be stronger.
Life cannot always be smooth sailing, otherwise it won't be fun anymore.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
You got to be yourself,
people likes you for who you are.
If they don't like you, then
they won't like you even if you behave like someone else.

My days in US

I am not complaining, just that I want to voice out my emotions.
For the few days here, sometimes I really feel lonely.
I don't know why is this happening to me,
was I not friendly enough?
Or was I just unlucky?

God, if you are there, if you can hear me,
can you give me the strength to pull this through?
can you give me the assurance that everything will be alright?
I really hope things will get better and better.

It's my 2nd day in the states.
Things are not as good as I expected.
But never mind, i won't give up.
God willl be there with me.
I will face today with a smile.