爱情

到底什么是爱情呢？
我不知道，因为我从来都没拥有过。
以前的人，可以一生一世，
为了爱的人放弃一切。
现在的人，恋爱好想吃快熟面，添饱肚子就好了。
有华丽的外表，在加上甜言蜜语的包装，好像这就是爱吧。
这也难怪。
如果结果都一样，谁不希望另外的一半是漂亮的，身材好的，至少看起来也舒服。
时间久了，谁不希望有点新鲜感？就算再爱吃的东西，吃久了也想换换口味。
看到更好的，谁不想试试看？人都是很有上进心的。
热恋中的甜言蜜语到了失恋的时候就变成了谎话连篇。
结婚也不过是为了增加安全感而造成的麻烦。
真的还有爱吗？
可能吧，只是它永远都不属于我。

I am feeling very bad today.
Somehow i just feel like crying.
Work is like the drama.
Fighting,politics and hypocrisy.
I am wondering what type of the person should I be.It seems that good soul always end up in poor plight.
It seems like one must be good at boots licking or so call socializing in order to do well in the corporate world.

Maybe life is the same.
You treat people too well,
in the end you became the one who is being hurt.
也许我应该收起真正的面孔，
不再有话就说，
不再无畏的付出，
不再对别人好，
不再报有任何幻想。
这个世界好残忍，好现实。我不是三好，
没她那么的幸运。
可能我会变成金玲，
谁知道呢？

Still expecting some miracles to happen.

New perspective

When you change an angle, you will see things differently.
Of course,I am still the two sided me.
Sometimes sunny bright, sometimes stormy grey.
It does not stop me from seeing things in a new perspective.
N0 reason for making yourself unhappy.

Work is pretty ok now.
I started to get better with collegues.
Had lunch with my boss on friday.
He drove us to parkway parade.
haha..Free ride and free lunch.
Then the other interns bought donuts for us.
haha..It's free again.
Then my very funny Indian coll gave me some snacks coz I laughed at him.
haha..So I have free stuff for the entire day..

Dance lesson is fun.
More salsa dance this week.
Hopefully I can continue my passion in it.
And my fire does not die off so soon.

I want to go shopping.
I am becoming a shopholic.
Someone,please go shopping with me.
haha..

I am indulging myself in the world of drama.
Real life is full of imperfections.
Drama is the only things to satisfy your wishes.
So why break up your dreams as long as you are happy with it?

I am still dreaming of myself walking on 5th Ave,
Times Squares, Wall streets and Upper East side.
I may be giving it a miss now,
but it does not mean that I am giving it forever.
I will get it, just a matter of time.

Christmas is coming.
Santa,please give me better presents this year.

Today I didn't go to work.
Decided to give myself a break.
Seriously I feel very drain due to work.
Watching Korean Drama at home.
Indulge myself in fantasy.

I am very drama kind of person.
My imagination tend to go wild sometimes.

Maybe I will be good a story write if I continue to write.

But the problem is that I stopped writing for so long.

Now I don't know where to start.

One day holiday is not really enough.

Hope that my attachment will end soon.

I was sicked from Friday until today.
Dunno will I be ok tomorrow.
I think sickness is making my mind going to be sicked.
Again, I start to wonder about my position in life.
Yesterday when i was browsing through facebook,
I realized that one of my friend actually got in Uni of Penn.
Wow.Besides wowing, I don't know wat to say.
My life long dream that people can achieve like so easily.
The questions come again.
What do I really want?
What can I really do?

Salsa lesson later on.
At least it is something that I can look forward to each week.
Nowadays I really lose interest in almost everything.
What is wrong with me?

Christmas is coming in 1 month plus times.
Hopefully this year I will have a wonderful christmas.
My dream kind of christmas.

Had my first salsa lesson on sunday.
It is full of fun.
At least I can relax myself during the one hour.
And Salsa made me feel like a lady.haha.

One moment, I thought that I can fully enjoy my life,my youth.
The next moment, reality hits me.
I still have to struggle so much.
There is not a single day that I can stop worrying about such problems.
When is that day coming?

Tomorrow is a better day.
I will still face it with a smile no matter how hard it's going to be.

I made a plan tat is totally impulsive and selfish.
One can only live for once.
So don't make yourself regret.
No matter what,i am going to do it next year.
I want to enjoy life.
Not merely live a life.
A very good 21st present for myself.
Hopefully everything will go well as planned..

I am at a lost.
My SAT results is really bad,
something that cannot get me to anywhere of my wish.
I don't know should I go for retest.
If I do, I may still get the same result due to lack of time to study.
If I don't, I may not get into any uni with this kind of results.

Of course, I can try my luck to apply for collges with my poor SAT result.
The chance of me get accepted is low,
which means I have to waste about 1K.
But going to college is my lifetime dream since I was 9.
If I don't try,I may regret in the later part of my life.

Even if I can go to the states for further study,
it may not be more value added for me.
Perhaps I will lose more important things,
like friends, friends and friends.
Someone said that don't let your ambition stop you from enjoying life.
I think I am someone who missed out too much for the sake of pursuiting my ambition.

I am totally at a lost.
Maybe I am at the bottle neck of my life.
Nevertheless, I hate to be ordinary.
But back to reality, one cannot be extraordinary all the times.
Even someone extraordinary have to live a normal civilisian life.

It's time to do some soul searching.
Let me find myself.

Disappointed

I am so disappointed about myself.
My SAT score is terribly low.
Miracles do not happen by chance.
Fate does not change as you wished.

Bad day

Today I had a bad day.
Morning I was utterly sleep.
Then it's lunch time.
Thought I will feel better after lunch.
Who knows that lunch is making me feeling worse?
I vomitted out my entire lunch.
Maybe I am ill treating my stomach too much,
now it starts to become rebellious and turn against me.
Most probably have to see a doctor tomorrow if I am still not feeling well.

In my deep wonder once again

I am someone who thinks a lot.
Often I will set myself in deep wonder.
Think about my past, present and future.

I realized that some of my friends are really working very hard towards their goals.
Taking up courses, obtaining the skills needed and getting to meet the right persons.
But how far away is my dream?
I don't know.
It seems there is no accurate measurement of the distance between my dream and me.
I only know that I am far away from it.

Often i asked myself what do I really want?
What kind of person do I really want to be?
I thought I have a clear answer.
But when I got to know more about the world,
the perplexity about answering the question increased drastically.
At least one thing that I am very free is I want to do something.
I want to improve on myself, my family,my world and the whole world.
Perhaps all I needed is a life changing moment,
like all those I had before.
A slightly stronger push to meet my goal.

Tomorrow is always a better day.
Wed is coming.

Just some disclaimer to made before I write everything else.
To one of my friend by the name Sylvester.
I was angry at you the other day coz I was in a bad mood.
That's all and let's get over it,ok?

Seriously I was dreaming if I can own an apartment one day.
If I have my own apartment,
even it's a shoe box apartment,
I will be more than happy.
I will decorate in the way I like,
Invite my friends over for party,
cook in my kitchen,
buy a lot of nice furniture from Ikea,
allow my friends to stay over,
have romantic nights at my apartment,
do whatever you like coz it's mine.
But too bad, I don't have one.
Hopefully I can earn enough to buy a house soon.

All the best for me.

A wonderful sunday

Had a wonderful sunday.
Met a friend from the states.
Arabic American.
Showed him around Singapore.
Listened to his travel stories.
First time being a host to someone foreign.
Hopefully he will enjoy his short stay in Singapore.

Shopped with Mum after that.
I realize that my mum's fashion sense is improving.
She bought me a leopard print top which I was totally surprised.
I guess that I am spending too much since I started working.
Perhaps I should be more effectively in my budget planning and execution.
So that I can start to do what I always wanted to do upon graduation.

Me=Forgetful

This afternoon I wanted to buy a piece of cake.
So I went down to the confectionery shop and picked one.
When i was about to pay,
then I realized that I never bring my wallets out.
How forgetful I am!


Lunched at Kim's family restaurant again.
I was in love with the place.
Perhaps I may sign up for korean dish cooking lesson one day,
just to satisfy myself.

Decided to send SAT score to 6 colleges.
Some of them are too prestigious to be mentioned.
I know the chance of me getting into those are low,
but at least I have a chance if I apply.
If not,the chance will be zero.
Yes..I am going to spend like hundreds of USD to apply.
If I can get in, my life can start afresh then.




The proposal is a nice chick flick.
Alaska is added to my destinated travelling list.
One day,I am going to travel to all the places on my list.
It may take years for my dream to come true.
I will definitely accomplish it before I am too old to move around.
Wish me luck.

It's good to be simple.

Simplicity is a beauty.
Sometimes I really feel that way.
Maybe I spent too much time and effort trying to make myself complicated,
in the end I landed myself in intricated situations which cause more troubles than benefits.
Before I start to do anything,
I will calculate the cost and benefits,
to see whether is it worthwhile to invest in.
That's the problem with me.

If I don't limit myself too much,
If I don't reject everything before it starts off,
then I won't be in my current state.
Let me meet someone simpler,
have a simpler life for the moment.
I simply want to have some simple happiness.

My eye lids are twitching.
Perhaps something is going to happen.
Hope it's a good thing.

Seasons of love

Met up with TDP gangs on wed.
Finally catch up with them after so long.
I made the wrong choice by going for this trip.
Made so many friends, learnt some mang things.

On the way back home,we are talking about making a next trip to the Philippines.
All of us missed the times at Philippines so much.
I really hope that we can go back there together.

Sometimes I really found myself being overly mature for my age.
I am thinking too much ahead of time and age.
People around my age are thinking about relationship,MSN and fashion.
I am thinking about investment, buying houses and reduce the poverty problem.
Maybe that's why I prefer older people than younger ones.


I was having a cold since yesterday.
And it gets worse in the afternoon.
I was sneezing most of the times inside the office.
Maybe that's why my collegues asked me to go home earlier.
When you are sick and tired, then you feel that you really need someone.
Anyway life still have to go on.

I really hope there are some changes.
Some positive changes to life.

突然觉得很寂寞，
不，一直都觉得很寂寞。
什么时候那个对的人才会出现呢？

As a wedding guest for the first time.

Yesterday is a special day.It's shell's brother's wedding day.
Again,I have to comment about how fast time flys.
It's like yesterday her brother is stil studying in Canada.
It's like yesterday her brother just came back.
It's like yesterday her brother just get to know his girlfriend.
Now they got married.
Feel really happy for them.
Wish them all the best and have a bliss life ahead.

I felt like a cynderalla yesterday.
First time I thought that I actually can look nice too.
But sadly I am a cynderalla without a prince.
And everything is back to the same after mid night.
The wedding somehow changed my opinion about marriage and love.
Perhaps getting married is not that bad.
Maybe finding someone right is not that difficult,
you just have to wait for the right time to come.

It's ok to have a simple life as long as I am happy.
Continue to be the happy go lucky newegg.

Grumpy me.

Went for the class chalet, which I didn't enjoy.
Reason being XXX.

Sometimes I am really wondering what is my role in friendship.
A joker or entertainer?
Perhaps maybe I am just not good at socializing.

Sometimes when you feel down, what you need is some assurance or encouragement.
instead of negative confirmations.
I was not expecting much.
What can I expect?
Sad to say,my friends are making me feeling worse.
I am not someone confident.
What I need is definitely not constant criticism.

If you are building your happiness on me,
then drop the idea.
I am not born to please anyone.
There is a limit to everything.
I thought friends are meant to communicate with one another,
share woes and wealth.
But I guess maybe it's not in this case.

Ignore about this unhappy part.
I am not going to care much if it is not worthwhile to care about.
I was totally in love with Korean food.
Sat I had dinner at this Korean restaurant at Upper Bukit Timah Road.
Nice atmosphere and great food.
Most probably I will be going there again in two weeks times to celebrate Sis's birthday.

Since the start of attachment,Mum is treating me nicer.
She even gave me 200 dollars for shopping coz she doesn't wish me to get cheap clothes.
When I told her that I want to go for rebonding or facial,she even agreed.
That's like a total change of her.
But I start to find myself really lucky to have a mum like her.

From the start of my internship, I start to pray every night.
I guess maybe I will be back to God again.
I may not be a faithful disciple,
but it's good to have a religion to lean on when you are feeling desperate.

Sat is coming really soon.
I am seriously hoping of a desirable grade.
I really need a change of environment.
To start everything afresh.
Be a new person.

Going for shopping after work tmr.

End of my first month of attachment

It has been a month since i started my attachment.
Work is pretty tiring,esp the long travelling time.It's draining up my free time.I don't have much time to study for my Sat when there is only a week left to the test date.
Some small problem at work.I don't understand why some problem are trying to make things complicated when peace is more desirable.Should we be helping one another instead of killing each other when we are all in the same boat?
I am going to attend a wedding for the first time of my life.Thank my bestie for the invitation.It's my first time to be a wedding guest. I was simply thrilled when she called me.Now the problem is wat should i wear for the wedding.
People around me are treating me too well.I am so afraid tat i will get myself indulged in this unhappiness for too long and when reality hits me,i get hurt again.
But anyway i am happy for the moment.And i will keep myself happy no matter wat will happen.