caught in the middle

I was not sure is it the right thing to do,
but i am still doing..
Things always gone beyond my control,
while i feel totally helpless...
What should i do?
I often ask myself this question.
I still can't find the answer.

Last friday,
Maybe it's this friday.
I was at Bishan.
Suppose to be shopping and browsing around.
I don't want to mention the name of the characters of this narrative,
it won't benefit any one.
But little things happened
which change cause my mood swing uncontrollably
Maybe i am really an autie,
going to have monopause soon.
I was caught in the middle
Not knowing what to do
Not knowing what should i do.
Maybe i can still act as retarded.
Then my heart won't hurt much.

Don't worry!
I am not feeling sad.
Nor Depressed.
WHile it makes me realize how strong am i.
I am strong enough to accept any thing

Should i describe the story more clearly?
i think no need.
Since i know the whole story,
and
i am the only one reading my blog,
i don't have to explain to anyone.
If u know,
Then u will know.
If u don't know,
Then u don't have to know.