为什么我的生活是这样的?
为什么活着要那么辛苦？
难道我真的做错了，要承受这样的痛苦。
谁不想活的轻松一点，活的开心一点？
可是我有选择嘛？我没有。
交朋友那么困难,
生活也那么困难，
难道就不能让我开心一下？
算了，可能我来到这个世界就是个错误。
活着真的好累，我也不知道我能支撑多久。
可能另外一个国度会比较幸福吧。
如果我真的离开了，有人会想我吗?

Leaving home

Tomorrow I will be going away for camp for 5 days.

Not long after I come back from the camp,

I am going for 2 weeks of backpacking trip.

Then I am moving out to live in the hostel.

It seems that I am finally leading an independent life,

but I feel guilty about leaving my mum alone.

I also feel uncertain about the future that is ahead of me.

Somehow I don't feel as good as I expected.

要去旅行了，好像除了妈妈，

真的没有什么人关心我。

其实也想要被关心。

Reminder to myself

I need to remain myself about certain things,
so that I can be on track and lost yourself in the course of pursuing my dreams.

1.Know what you really want and stop being blinded by material needs.
2.Continue to be optimistic and be certain about your future.
3.Stop being jealous of other people's life. You can never be them and they are not necessarily happier than you.
4. Look around you, don't always look at people above you. You can never reach them and they will never come down to you.
5. Be motivated but not overly ambitious. You cannot build a Rome in one day.

6. Happiess is still the most important thing after all.
7. Be more friendly, people don't owe you anything. It's better to have more friends than enemy.
8.Treat you mum better. She is your only kin in the world.
9. Don't be dishearten! Your efforts will pay off someday, it's just a matter of time.
10.Listen to your heart and live life to the fullest.

A new journey ahead

I caught part of Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky over the weekends.
I couldn't finish the movie as I have already knew the ending from the starting.
The ending is no ending.

When one gets older, her/his thinkings changes.

In the past,I used to think that getting married and being with someone forever is a beautiful thing.

But now I envy those people like Chanel or Jane Austen even more.

At least they were in loved before and they have beautiful memories

Sometimes when people around me are talking about how happy they are in the relationship,

I do feel happy for them. Like everytime I see Li Sze talk about her wedding and her house, I really can sense the happiess inside her.

Maybe that's what makes most woman happy, but it's just not what I want.

Perhaps I will laugh these lines 10 years later when I look back at my past,

But for now I still think this way.

Nowdays mum is really treating me too nicely. Kind of pampering me.

The better she treats me, then more guilty I feel.

I am simply too rebellious and I should be treating her nicely.

But I cannot afford to let myself be reliant on her.

What will happen if she wasn't here for me or I am not there for her?

I am going to embark on a new journey soon.

I don't what is ahead of me, but I am optimistic about it.

Just like many people had told me, hardwork pays off.

I have to continue to work hard to strive for the things I want.

I am going to find my own aurora one day.

My humble 21st birthday

I became an adult officially on 12July 2010,
which is about 2 days ago.

Though I never hold any grand parties or receive very expensive gifts,
I feel very contented. You know that you friends are there.

I think this is enough.I couldn't ask for more.

Had a simple dinner with my poly friends at Yi Min father's store on saturday.

Another simple dinner at home with Sis and Mum, sis is leaving for UK.

It will be her farewell dinner. I visited night safari for the first time in my 21 years.

Kind of dark, cannot really see much animals, but it's quite enjoyable coz it makes me feel like a tourist!I love being a tourist(sometimes)

On my birthday itself, i went to my dear NTU for body check out.
And mybody check out is not completed due to some issue, which means I have go back again.

Saw Alaric in school, sothat the very boring check out turn out to be not so boring.

Met Yu Lin for lunch, we are like two elderly, trying to make a recount of the past.

Caught triple tap in Cinema at night, Daniel Wu makes my day!

Actually I really feel very loved. I have read on the forum, some people have no or only friends.I feel quite sad for them. What is the meaning of life without friends?

I am so fortunate that there are always friends around to give me all kind of support.

All this while, I am able to find friends who are true and genuine no matter where I go.

Secondary School, Poly, BA society,Internship, my current work place and even my swimming class.

Thank god for giving me so many wonderful friends. I am really greatful.

Maybe it's really true that your attitude decides your altitude in life.

I shall be more optimistic in future.

1 more week to end of work and I am going for camp soon!

After which, I am going to be embark on my journey of being a backpacker!

I love this dazzling life.

My first post as an adult

I am officially an adult now.
Happy birthday to myself!

I dunno if I should feel sad or happy.
The few people who have wished me happy birthday are the people that I don't really know well.
Anyway I should enjoy this big day.
It doesn't always happen.

Woke up with a shocking news.
Actually it's not exactly shocking, it's just unexpected.
Germany lost the match to Spain just as the Octopus has predicted.
Screw the Octopus, I am going eat lots of Takopachi.
Let's see who the winner is.


I think my luck is really bad nowadays, perhaps I should buy a crystal charm.
Purple?Or Pink or maybe a combination of all, so that all area will be blessed.
I am so supersitious nowadays.


About one more month to my trip.
I am so excited about it.
Cannot wait for the day to come.
At the same time, I feel like going to HK.
It will be wonderful to spend new year and count down at such a vibrant city,
is it?
If I can find a good job after uni starts, then my plan can come true.


After talking to Alice yesterday,I got more in depth understanding about private banking&priority banking.
Part of me want to be in this industry and aiming on the wallstreet;
while the other part of me want to be free and easy, travel around the world.
It's impossible to get the best of both world.
Never mind, i still got 3 years to consider.

Cannot wait for saturday, I am going to taste nice Taiwan food!
Hopefully that i can win airticket to Taipei.

I am quite happy that actually some of my friends are still reading my blog despite it being so pessimistic.
Somehow I am rather touched to know that my friends actually emailed the school counselor
after seeing my depressed post long time ago.
At least I know that I still have friends that cares.





A lot of things are hard to say it out, especially for people like.
Many will not believe it, but I am an introvert or
I am becoming more and more introvert.
The problems are still there even if I say it out.
The finanical problem is always haunting me every now and then.
I am already 21 and my mum is getting old.
There is no way for me to continue to take money from her,
instead I should be giving her money, pampering her, making up her lost youth.
But how I am going to do it?
Uni fees, living expenses and of course expenses to support my dream.
Seriously I have no idea.


That's why I cannot be like other kids, do whatever they want without much consideration.
I want to be fully devoted to something,
for example, like salsa dance ,singing and travelling
but my finanical situation doesn't allow me to do it.
There isn't always a choice to choose in life.

My 21st birthday is in a few days times.
I have no idea about how to celebrate it.
People either hold a big party or celebrate with their loved ones.
I have no $$, no boyfriend, so maybe no celebration for me.

可能我运气不好吧，怪谁呢？