Friends

Every thing serves a suppose.
clothes is to keep you covered and warm;
food is to make you stay away from hunger;
It's just so hard to find something that can do everything.
just like it's hard to find friends tat u can do everything together.
unless you photocopy another yourself.
Perhaps i am really too anti social.How i wish to share the same traits as billions people do?
but i am born this way.
who to blame?
time to sleep and say hello to tuesday.

Memories

Yesterday marks an end to Qiang Mai.
Four years has been passed.
People gets older.
But memories will still be there.

I am not going to comment much about the event or my days in TXY.
Life got to move on.
I cannot live in the past forever.
One happy thing about yesterday is I saw Li Teng yesterday.
Actually he looks better in real person.
I never take any photo with him.
Don't want to make myself look like a crazy fan.

Sometimes I really feel inferior about myself,
Coz many of my friends are simply too good.
Aspiring photographers, song writers, journalist,
media personnel,scholars and etc.
It's kind of silly.
They are so good coz they have passion for whatever they are doing,
and they put a lot of efforts in what they do.
Why should I compare myself with other people?
Maybe I will be better after I found something that I truely like.
I will be better without all the burden on my shoulder.

Times to sleep.
Tomorrow is a better day.
Bless me.

迷失

很多时候，都在问自己一个问题，
我真正要的是什么?
找了好久，都找不到答案。
总以为自己很不错，
可是往往不然。
可能这就叫做自我感觉良好吧。

我一直都在想，
活这么大了，
不可能继续下去过一天算一天吧。
现在的我，
看不希望，
也看不到未来。

可能我一直都很讨厌吧，也没什么好的吧。
整个世界都知道，只有我自己不知道。
坚持努力的东西都是错的。
所以我和很多人连朋友都不是。
很想离那个世界靠近一点，
原来真的没办法。
聊天都那么困难了，
何况其他的呢。
如果能够倒带，
那一切会不会不一样呢？
就算不能改变什么，
有个机会把心里的话讲出来也好啊，
可是我连那个机会都没有。

为什么现实与梦想差那么多?
为什么没有一件我想得事情发生呢？
I am ok.
Always ok.

One last time

Perhaps this is my last time to blog in the office.
I guess they somehow blocked personal sites and social networking from today onwards.
No more entertainment for me.
It's better so that I won't be wasting time in doing those things.

Quite happy with the results.
It marks a good ending to my poly life.
Sad to say, time flys.
My 3 years in poly is coming to an end.
This 3 years is definitely a memorable experience.
My lovely poly friends,
my love and hate BA society,
my TDP experience,
my tiring but interesting internship.
Of course, there are some regrets.
About people,about grades, about things.
They make memory more memorable.

Recently I am been thinking a lot.
Maybe there is too much free time at work.
About my past, my present and my future.
I guess people about my age won't be spending so much time reflecting
Rarely anyone will behave in the way I do.

Hope tmr is a better day.

So what

I was very paranoid for the past two days.

There are so much things on my mind.

Uni, finance, my future and etc.

To the extent that I started to lose sleep.

Ignore the reasons which no Uni had called me yet.

Let's talk about the possibilty about me getting into a local U.

Getting into biz is kind of hard since the competition is so strong.

Even if you got into biz, which doesn't mean you will become a good biz man or woman.

So what is the point about getting biz school?

But what if I cannot get into biz?

what other course can I do?

And what if I cannot even get into U?

Am I prepared for the working world?

What makes me special from the others?

Thoughts influx into my mind like an endless river.

At some point of time, I am really lost.

I know that I think so much.

I know that I am making life difficult for myself.
I know many things about myself, yet I cannot change a single bit of them.

Sometimes I am really vulnerable.

原來我也是平凡人.

Where are you now?

Yesterday I had another quarrel with mum.
Perhaps the vast difference in our character is causing the problem.
Or perhaps we are really having serious communication problem.
Unhappiness in a marriage can be resolved by divorce,
but what about unhappiness in a family?
You cannot choose who are your parents,
you also cannot choose which family you are born into.

Somehow I just feel that there is like loads of lead on my shoulder,
it's too heavy for me to take it.
I cried in the middle of a park.
Then I realize that I have nobody to call,
nobody to talk to about all my problems.
In the end, I called my 13years primary school friend,
who is not even in Singapore.

Feel sad for myself.
How come I end up in this state?
Being sad, but have nobody by my side.
It's all my fault.
It's not there is no nice people around me.
There are,just that I let them go away from my life.

I am too scared of opening up myself.
I am too scared of revealing myself.
I am too scared of being hurt.
In the end, I lost too many things.

Somehow I just start to miss a lot of people.
Having them in my life is actually a bliss.
I am just praying for miracles to happen.
For something to brighten up my life.

The song that perfectly describe my mood.
Where are you now by High Honor Society.

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how,
how to live like I do
If it wasnt for you
I would never be who I am.
And I'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But thats just how it goes,
People change,
But I knowI wont forget you

Hello!The world!

Hello.Attention to the world.
Why is everyone getting invovled in relationship but not me?
I know I am fat, not so pretty, not so gentle, not good at flirting.
But there are people who are worse than me.
AND THEY ARE STILL ATTACHED!
What's the problem with me?
Can someone tell me?


The last relationship I had is when i was Sec 2 (Official data, not include those flings and status unknown).
I have wasted my youth for so many years.
As my age goes up, my net asset value goes down.
OMG.I don't want to end up as a old spinster.
Oh Jesus, find me a good man!

If you are my good friend,
you should have known what to do
and what I want for my birthday!
I will be super glad for your greatness
in saving me from ending up as an old spinster.

If you are feeling lonely,

you can contact me at 99912345.

I will be waiting for you.

Lol.See that's how bored I am at work.

I can wrote out such a toally nonsense post.

Yesterday's swimming class is fun.

Gonna go for swimming classes more often.

I am looking for love,

not so desperate as I mentioned above.

Looking forward to sat's MJ session.

What's wrong with me?

Sometimes I just become bad tempered,
Sometimes I just feel very depressed,
what's the problem with me?
Coz I am ageing?

Was looking at my secondary 1 friends FB.
It's interesting to see how people has changed.
Prettier,more matured and more complicated.
It's weird if they didn't change at all.
Perhaps when they are looking at my life,
they will make the same comment.

Have to book the tickets soon,
if not,then I can forget about going bangkok.
I am so attracted by the thoughts of travelling.
Perhaps I will take a year off travelling around after I paid off my uni debts.
Imaging of a year of freedom and excitment.

I started to feel more and more distant from them.
Perhaps it's my choice.
When I have decided to do that,
I have chosen this path.

I feel quite sad for myself,
Sad for the fact that I have not made any friends in poly.
Friends are people to make you feel good.
But I don't feel good most of the times.
Or rather I feel isolated recently.
Am I just too tired?

This holiday is not as good as the long holiday I had after Os.
Because I was younger then?
Too much expectation is never a good thing.
No expectation,then you won't feel anything..
It seems like I am trying too hard to be happy.
In the end,I tried too hard to pretend that I am happy.

I just want to find another me,
who share the same thoughts as I do.
But hardly there is any me around.
Perhaps all I can do is to pray and wish God can pull me through this phase.

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't cha take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't cha love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

I had lunch alone today.
I went to Little India alone yesterday.
I jogged in the stadium alone the day before yesterday.
Nowadays I am doing more and more things alone.
Sounds quite sad,right?
But I guess it's part of growing up.
Being alone doesn't means being lonely.
It's just that you choose to have some time to spend with yourself,
get to know yourself better.
If you are feeling lonely even if you are in a group,
that's even sad.

I start to like suntec area.
It's so convenient and there are a lot of things you can do during lunch time.
Wondering around in Carrefour(Sampling free food),
window shopping at the shops around,
and people watching.
Perhaps that's why many are seduced by the charm of cosmopolitians.

I think I am a selfish person.
All I can think of is my happiness,my freedom,my life.
I never think of the people around me,
for example,my mum.
That's why God decide to punish me for my selfishness,
let me continue to be alone.

Looking forward to July.
My first backpack trip.

Work

It has been a week since I started working again.
Well, when you are free at home,then you want to find something to do.
But when you have something to do,then you feel like slacking at home.
Contradicting.
Though this job is much more relax than my internship,
I still miss my company and especially the people over there.
Another batch of intern is coming in soon.
Maybe they will forget about me soon.

Going to be 21 soon.
Wondering what kind of adult I want to be.
Rich,famous or happy and free?
In order to gain some,then you have to give up some.
Life is about striking a balance.

Not being too religious,
but I think it's good to believe in something.
Thank God for showing me the lights.
Without him,I will still be walking in the dark.

I think I should drop my stupid thoughts.
My one sided wishful thinking is not getting me anywhere.
Time to move on.
Hopefully I can get into NTU and start a fresh school life again.
Perhaps I may meet someone better.

my list of to do

There is 1001 things on my to do list.
1.Apply for SMU.
2.Apply for UPS,OCBC ,SGX ,NTU scholarship.(Lots of eassy to write).
3.Finish writing up my testimonial draft.
4.Celebrate birthday for A.
5.Celebrate birthday for B.
6.Sign up for swimming classes.
7.Go for rebonding.
8.Trying hard to lose weight.
9.Trying hard to earn more money.
10.Trying hard to look nice.

Too much things to do,
not in the mood to do.
It seems like growing up means more and more responsiblity,
thus more trouble and burden.
Why must we grow up?
Can we just be those happy little kids forever?
I am wishing for those happy little things to happen.