I hate being fat

I am fat.Really really fat.Looking at the scale of weighing machine,it almost made me fainted.Why aren't I slimming down despite my active efforts in losing weight?Yes..i am going to eat less and exercise more..i don't mind being a bamboo stick,it's so much better than bearing all the fats..
Claw common test is disappointing.I have the lowest mark in my entire poly life.I guess it's time for me to put some efforts into my study,rather than dreaming unrealistically..

Can you just leave me alone?

Stop pressing me on.
Can you just leave me alone?
I want a life,
not a dog's life.
Well,sometimes I think I am leading a life worse than a dog.

All day long is about money,money and money.
You think I am not troubled by financial problem.
You think you are the only one?
How much more freedom you want to restrict me?
I don't hate life actually.
You are the reason made me hate life so much.
Sometimes I really wonder what's the point of me living in this world.
Continously earning money and paying debts?

The reason that I wish that I go to uni so much is to get away from you.
Someone like you have no life,no friends and no achievement.
You want me to be life you?no,I won't and never want to.
Paying school fees and housing me is a big deal,right?
Then I should just quit school and get married.
Then you will be happier,right?

Don't worry.I won't die so early.
I will pay back all the debts.
All this year you have spent on me.
If adversity are making people grow,
I rather not grow.
It is continously torturing me.
Losing my rights as human.

Sometimes I rather myself to be out than at home;
Sometimes I rather myself to be orphan than having such a family;
Sometimes I rather myself to be dead than alive.
Life is simply torturing.
I can't take it any more.

Sometimes I envy people,
having a family,
being pampered,
leading a normal life.
I can't.Maybe from the moment I was born,
I was deprived of this chance.

How I wish to have a father?
How I wish to have a family?
How I wish that I have no more worries about this?
I want to be a teen.
A happy teen with a normal life.

不要错过了才开始懂得珍惜

最近我不是很开心，自暴自弃。
其实，我不该这样，也没有理由这样做。
我身边也有好多好的朋友，好的机会，
只是我都不懂的珍惜。

从小到大，我只会怨天尤人，
怪老天给我这样的生活，
怪老天给我这样的我。
其实我有的真的很多，
刚出生我就有也一个青梅竹马的好朋友，鹏鹏。
小学的时候，也遇到一位很好的老师，肯栽培我，给我机会。
到了中学，也没有人欺负我，朋友也不少。
没费什么劲，就进了通讯员，认识了很多朋友，长了不少见识。
O level完了，出去做工，也很幸运的得到照顾。
到了Poly,就更不用说了，又一群不错的朋友，和让我找到自己的ＢＡＳ。
到现在，我认识了１３年的朋友还在海的另一边关心着我。
我有什么理由不开心呢？

很多时候寂寞是自己造成的。
不开心又不要说。
朋友怎么会知道。
因为自己的懒惰，不小心，
失去了很多很好的朋友。
如果在多用心一下，你就不会错过他们了。
Huan Lin, Hui Mei,Yulin,Wen Ting,Jia Yue,Tang Wei,Yu Zhen,Sian Ying,Cai Ying,Jie Sheng,Han Sen,Justin,Ivy,Ciel ，and etc
原来真的很多。
都怪自己一时任性，一时不懂得珍惜。

我想告诉自己，
也告诉看到这个Ｐｏｓｔ的人，
不要错过了才开始懂得珍惜。
希望我能记得这句话。
希望我能振作起来。