I still have the weird feeling inside.
And it seems to be growing.
I feel so sorry for neglecting many of my friends.
Sorry sorry and very deeply sorry.
Whatever it comes,whatever it takes.

I am a serious person.
I think I am becoming more and more serious.
Things are here and there.
A lot of them.
I got to settle them.

Though I tried to face them with a smile,
sometimes it seems i am just not good enough to handle them.
I am not good at handling people too.
So what am I good at?

I know why I am so reluctant to come back to singapore.
I know why I miss Philippines so much.
It's a trip without worry.
No wonderful it can only be as part of my memory

Had a lot of fun this few days.
Friday finally met up with my Cebu Trip friends,
those from NP and NJC.
The same kind of happiness is back.
Watch the video of our Cebu trip.
All the memories suddenly flashed back.

I know many people shared the same feeling as I do.
Gerlad,Joy,Samuel and many many more.
All of us missed the trip.
All of us missed the heart to heart talk.
Hopefully we can go to Taman Negara together,
so that we can keep the bonding last.

Then head to Jonathan's house for Majhong.
My phone died on me again.
Luckily I still manage to find his house in the end.
I think my luck is really bad.
I forefeited a lot of times in a row.
Anyway it's fun.

Saturday met up with Horace,Hiu Tung,Sly and Kim.
The earth hour is really nothing.
Not all organizations support this kind of event.
Look forward to next friday and every friday.
Coz friday is the day we will be meeting.

I feel weird.
Very very weird.
Hope this weird feeling can be ceased.
And stop growing.

Why so serious?

In this world, you don't have to be good.
You don't have to be serious about everything.
As long as you are good at talking and socializing,
you can hide all your flaws.
That's the lesson I have learnt.

I dunno where I am heading,
am i doing the right things.
Maybe I should just do the same things as them.
I miss Philipines,almost every bit of the those memories.
Especially the genuiness.

I am not happy.
I miss my TA 29 gang.

Had a long chat with Bestie.
I love this feeling.
Always the same topic.
Our conversation has always been surrounding around relationship problems.

Of course, both of us don't have such problems coz we are not even involved in a relationship.
Sometimes I am just wondering am I bringing bad luck to my friends.
Those friends close to me are all single, or attached and broke up.
I haven been single for years.
Though there have been some up and down in between,
I am still single until now.

Sometimes I just wondering if i can find the right person.
I am going to be 20.
Half of my youth is gone.
My love affair is still in vain.
All I had is disappointment and dispair.

If I can have more courage,
If I can have more confidence,
I won't be in the same state as I am.
Maybe I am just not destined to have love.
So just let it be.

I still hope for some lights,
though it's dark outside.

I miss Philippines.

I miss Philippines.

In Philippines, everything is so simple and sincere.

We gaze under the star,

we open our heart to one another,

we show feelings from our inner most heart.



We simply indulge ourselves in trueness.

Everyone knows things will be the same once we are back,

so we treasure each and every moment.



I miss every little bit of Philippines.

Trip to Philippines

I am leaving for Philippines in a few hour' time.
Suddenly i feel a bit reluctant to go coz got so many things are not settled.
And someone have to cover the extra load for me due to trip.
Really sorry about it.
I will make it up before I come back.

Anyway I still have to go for the trip.
Coz it's important.
I know those people going for the trip also know the importance.
Hopefully I will have fun.
This morning,when I woke up,then i just thought of him.
It's always my one sided wish.

A mixed kind of feeling

Sometimes I know I think really too much.
Things happen here and there.
People are putting up too much of a hyprocrisy.
Sometimes u simply dunno whom to trust.

I start to get confused about friendship.
I start to get confused about trustworthiness.
I start to doubt who is my friend and who is not.
Who is true and who is not.
Or maybe they are not my friend.

Tough question.
I am so afraid of being hurt.
I think I am going back to the primitive me.
At the edge of breaking down.
Emotional distrubance.
and What else?
I need my confidence and me back.

突然发现，自己真的做了好多事。
开始怀疑自己做的事情到底值不值得。
从小到大，对人生多很认真，真的很认真，
总觉得付出就有回报。
可是发现这个世界需要的好像不是我这样的人，
只要会socialize,认不认真根本不重要。

对朋友总是太认真，
为了他们的一个微笑，
就算花多少心思也不要紧。
这么多年，我好像都在付出，根本没有回报。
真心都被当做是必然，
必然都成为习惯。

可能小的时候读了太多的书，
对这个世界充满太多的幻想。
其实如果能跟路人一样，
什么都不想，
用一样的公式过生活，
可能就不会有这个麻烦。

好多的时候，我的想法可能都太伟大。
看Slumdog的时候，就想着怎么去帮助印度的穷人；
就算自己在累，也要装着有活力，希望可以影响其它人；
总觉得每份友情都该有人付出，这样才能让它继续，
可是偏偏每次付出的只有自己。

我也是个人，脆弱的人。
不是什么能拯救世界的超人。
就算是超人，也有累得时候。
我也想要好好休息。
我也想要好好享受。

Happy Day

FInally Bamp is over.
I had a good day today.
Had afternoon tea with Hiu Tung, Kim man, Sylvester and Horace.
Chit chat and chit chat and more chit chat.
Then walk around in carrefour and discuss about tmr's plan.
Woohoo.Picnic is making me happy.
I simply want some relaxation of my hectic schedule.

what a wonderful world

I never knew a camp can be so bad.I never knew tat some people are so horrible.I never knew some people are so not them,as what i have known so far.It's seems everything is at my fault.It seems my ability dropped so much after joining this cca. I am utterly disappointed,not jus with myself,but more towards someone.Mayb my thoughts are rather immaterial.It teaches u about trust,honesty and protection.you never know a person's true colour.Tat's life.人心颇测。