我好像好像飞，逃离这个疯狂的世界。
If I got to choose, I won't choose to born in this family.
If I got to choose,I won' want to be the me that I have been.

Leaving

刚刚从机场回来，捷升现在应该在太平洋的上空了吧。
本来还没觉得什么，直到她走了现在觉得有点难过。
以前的时候大家要见面就能见面，
现在好像都没什么机会了。
不知道什么时候才有可能见到她。
很多时候，人就是这样，
当东西失去了才会觉得珍惜。
希望她能好好保重，
好好照顾自己，
毕竟一个人在陌生的环境里生活是不容易的。

她的行李


United airways

离别的背影

我们

Ying Ying 和捷升



也许我们都该在失去之前学着去珍惜

This Christmas

Nothing fanciful about this christmas,
parties,gifts and friends.
I am alone on christmas eve again.Years and years,it is always the same.
2005,I am too sick to crawl out my house.
2006,I am working in conrad.
2007,I don't remember what I have done.
2008,gathering at bestie's house is cancelled.
Maybe I am just a bit unlucky with Christmas eve.

This christmas I received four very wonderful gifts.
1.A wallet that Bestie bought for me from Africa.
2.Customized name

3.Very lovely egg with my favourite cartoon character.

4.Sis bought me a saving box when I told her I am having finanical problem.

I think they both took ages to finish up them.
Ok.At least it will took me hours to do that.
Thank you so much for the wondeful wondeful gifts.
I really appreciate your efforts.

Chatted with my lovely friends in mac after the gathering.
My feeling is contradicting.
It's a wonderful feeling to have them around.
But then the fact that I will not be seeing them so often soon saddens me.

Oh.Ya..Why is bus/MRT service not extended on Christmas?
Hope every year my christmas can be so wonderful!
Looking forward to new year.
And hope i can get rid of financial crisis in 2009.

Finally I have sent the christmas cards out.
It took me ages to finish those cards
Sometimes I am just stuck with what to write.

2009 is coming.It's going to be a new start.

Maybe I am just an alien, human world is simply hard to understand.

Went for christmas party organized by Ivy just now.
Have many wows that I want to said out.
Wow No 1: There are people who can get lost in orchard.
In fact, we actually can get lost in orchard.
Though the condo is at orchard, we cannot find the place.
In the end,we end up taking cab to the place which is only 2 bus stop away.

Wow No 2:It's a small world.
According to Amanda,Ivy's sis, Lee Kuan Yew's grandchildren are there.
There are 2 very funny guys,in their 30s are said to be Lee Kuan Yew's grandchildren.
The only thing I can say it's what a small world.
Anyway it's a hearwarming christmas party,
nice place,nice food and nice people though I don't know them well.

Chatted with Bing Rong after the party.
It has been 4 years since we knew each other.
Time flys.We joined TXY 4 years ago.
Last time we were newbies,
last time we were super active,
last time we spent so much time in SPH.
Now no more,at least not for me.
Ever since I quitted from the role of group leader,
no. of trips to SPH dropped drastically.

Well, I didn't regret my decision.
If I didn't quit,then i won't have such time for school activities.
It's a trade-off.
But sometimes my decision will just let people down.
I think I have let Wei Zheng and many more down by quitting,
when they put so much hope on me,
I simply walked away with their hopes.

Hopefully in future I won't do that again,
at least I will have some control over myself before any decision is made.
Maybe more self-discipline,so that I can really start on my econos project soon.
Though my project is not going to save the world from the financial crisis,
it's going help to me pass my econs.

I just realize how much flaws I have.
In order to help me to become a better person,
you can feedback to me if you spoted any.
Though you may not give any dining voucher,
I will be thankful to your help.
Coz most of the times we cannot spot the flaws in ourselves.



One last thing is that though that I have not found any perfect man that I am longing for,
but thank God there are a lot of good woman around,like bestie.Life is wonderful with them around.
Monday I am going to disappear into natural reserve

Get to know yourself

Just came back from school,attended My Scholarship Experience,

what they shared is really useful, not just to application of scholarship,

but more towards personal development.

Well,I have been with myself for 19 years.

But how well do i know myself?

Today I am going to list down wat do i know about myself.

It's good to sort out your thoughts sometimes,

at least you won't be wondering about what you are doing.

1.What are your strength and weakness?

Strength:I am creative.I am full of new ideas and I like to implement new ideas to improve on the current situation.

I am friendly.I like to work socialize and make new friends.

I am enthusiastic.When I am doing what i like,I will put 101%into to make it happen.

Weakness:I am lacking of preverance.Sometimes when I encounter problems,then I will give up and not able to last.

I am emotional unstable.My mood swing uncontrollably and it affects my life.

2.What do you want to do in future?

Well, I want to change the world, at least make changes to the world.

I want to be a super rich who is able to make a difference in many people's life.

I want to set up a foundation, I want to build schools, I want to help the poor,I want to provide scholarships,I want to help people to get out of poverty.

In order to become a super rich,maybe I want to be an economist first, who can forecast the economic prospect of the world.

3.What do you like?

I like to play sports, trying new things,organizing event,making people happy,singing,watching movies, writing,donating money and giving out presents.

4.What you want do after you graduated from poly?

I want to go the states, I want to study economics or business in University of Pennsylvania.

Well, my answers sounds very noble and idealistic.No harm dreaming of big dreams.Hopefully I will have enough determination to work towards it.

If you want to sort out your life, if you don't want to have an aimless life,then think about it and write it down if you want.

It's really hard to go after your big dream.
Everyone has just one chance to live or rather if we are cats.
We can only choose one type of life style.
Can i afford to lose my dream?
I cannot,coz it's not just my dream,it's many people's dreams too.
I have to carry them out no matter of what.
Big dream,big ambition,big hope.
Yet the gap between dream and reality is big too.
Serious it is a tiring job or rather tiring life.
But I still have to chase after it.
It's a must.

I have developed this peculiar fondness towards writing movie review.
No facts but entirely opionions.
Watched the day the earth stood still yesterday.
It is a movie that I enjoyed a lot coz it got something to do with alien.
Though the plot is very predictable,i can guess almost the whole story out after the first 15 minutes,
the message they are trying to bring about is good.
If we continue to take earth for granted,
something will happen one day.
I like the part when they make critics about US government,
and the Obama campaign,we want change.
(Those things are not show in the movie,but implied)

Today I watched this 1939 movie,called gone with the wind.
If the prior movie I will give a rating of 7, this one will be a 9 or 9.5.
Though the background movie is bit old and technology is not so advance back then,
what you see through the movie is simplicity,what you feel through the movie is complexity.
If the movie is not good,it will not last until today.
Imagine 10 years later,will you still remember movies like House Bunny or Wild Child.

Watching movie is really a good thing.
Or rather watching good movie is really a good thing.
It stirs up your feelings,
It makes you reflect,
It help you to activate your brain.
More movies on my list,I am going to slowly enjoy them.

Sometimes when you want everything,then you may end up with nothing.

Craving for world peace

World peace.
Can I just have some peace?
Ending nagging and distrubance.
Why can't you just leave me with some peace?

All you want is the a perfect daughter.
Good grades,good conduct, good in everything.
But did she ever care about the enduring process.

Christmas party photos.
Christmas Atmosphere is everywhere.

Us with the super active kid.

Ice cream

At the door step.

A lot of things have been going through my mind this few days.
Let's explain those in economic terms.
Since economics is really useful to explain my point.
There is an opportunity cost behind everything.
You have to sacrifice some to gain some.

Whether to make the sacrifice or not,
you need to do a cost and benefit analysis.
But the problem I am having now is lack of information.
I cannot list down all the benefits and costs.
So it is hard for me to make comparison.

Enough of this confusing theories,
save the profoundness for the economist.
I still have a lot of plan yet to be executed.
Got to do them during the holidays.
For example,hiking to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve,Sugei Beloh
Visit to Museums,(Toys Museum,art museum, asian civilisation museum)
Exercise.(Tons of sports I want to do, espcially tennis.I want to learn tennis.)
Meet up with my lovely friends,
K box and many more things.

It has been long since we have such a good chat.
Stay happy and don't let anything affect u.

I am sorry,

I really feel sory towards someone at this point of time.
Sorry for not contributing.
Sorry for making you do all the work;
Sorry for not able share the workload with you.
Sek Kim Man,I am really.
You are the best.

In the mood for christmas

Though this is the common test period, but Christmas is coming!
Went to Rohei Christmas party yesterday.
So glad to see Ivy,Justin,Ciel and many more.
It has been long since I last saw them.

Christmas Tree and presents

Popcorns.

More photos to be uploaded when I receive them from Ciel. It's really nice to see them around.
It's a blessing that we get to know each other and we can still keep in touch with one another after so long.
So glad to hear that Jasmine and Tony are engaged.Hope they can hold their wedding soon,then I can have the chance to attend.haha

Thanks for the heart to heart talk,I am feeling so much better after talking to you.

Christmas is coming.More parties to come.

Finally I am done!

I am finally done with summary paper though there is a lot need to be edited.
I don't think I am going to do anything about the editing part.
It have totally drained me.
Even a doctor degree thesis is not so torturing.
Though I don't know how a doctor degree thesis is like.
For today alone,I have been spending more than 12 hours to do it.
Luckily it's all over now!


I shall study for common test.
Study for common test is not so taxing as doing the summary paper.
The amount of stress and workload almost drive me crazy
Entering into the world of economics tomorrow.
I have keep the faith though life is disappointing at times.
Evolution of the world does not mean that you have to change with the world.

I love powerpuff girls.Thanks for the support.

stagnant

I have been stuck in front of my lappy for hours and hours.
Half of the summary paper is completed. Still left another 10 or more pages to go.
The deadline is tomorrow.To be exact,I still got another 23 hours to the deadline.
40% and I cannot afford to fail.
As long as this term is over,I will be free.

Well, according to my friend's advice of taking an active approach,
I took the initiative to sms him yesterday.
But the answer is not as expected.
I think I am totally wrong.
Never mind.Anyway there is no possiblity between us.
Off to do my summary paper.

Happy thanksgiving day!

Sometimes lessons just get too bored,you will start to find things to entertain yourself.
We are the power puff girls.

Bubble, staring Kim Man.
Blossom, staring Xiao Tong.
Buttercup, staring me.
We are the powerpuff girls.

I deleted all the recent emo post.
Seriously I have no reason to emo.
Just chat up with a long time friend.
A friend I had for 13 years.

Thank you for your encouragement.
Thanks for everyone's concern.
I should look at the bright side.
I should not lose faith so easily.
Actually stress are nothing.There's definitely a way to solve all the problems.

Going to meet the Indonesian students tomorrow.

Sometimes thing just stop at the wrong timing.
It's going to be over soon.
Chances of seeing each other again is low.
Maybe it's just fate.

My class and me

I have not talk much about my class in poly,

it's not that I don't feel anything about it.
It's just that I dunno where to start and how to start.


Firstly,not for the sake of being politically correct,
I am really glad to be in class,not any other class.
From birthday celebration,outings,and heart to heart talk,
I can really feel the warmth of the class.
That's why i am so scared of lossing the feeling,lossing the bonding.
I tried hard to keep everyone feel the same way as I do,
I just hope everyone else can put in a little bit more effort to substain this feeling.
All relationship need to be maintained,is it?


Secondly,I want to apologise to all of them.
Sometimes my temper and emotion are just out of my control.
I have a very stubborn character.
Sorry for throwing tempers,showing attitudes at times.
I will try to control it and don't let it go out of hands.

This post is going to be long coz I want to write about a lot of people,
though they may not have the chance the to see this post.


1.Sylvester. I know sometimes you dunno what we are thinking,it's the same for me too.
Though we quarrel quite often,I regard you as one of my best guy friend.
Sometime u may say I am gaybo or something,it's just my way of showing concern.
I want to know how my friends are doing,but i dunno how to ask in a nicer manner.
Sometimes I dun mean what I have said,for example you are acting like a father.
It's a good thing to have such a friend,rather than someone who don't even care.
Sorry for the negative remarks.Sometimes my words just come out of my mouth without thinking. Hope you can understand that.


2.Xue Feng.If you think i am putting too much pressure on you,I am really sorry.
I just hope that I can do something to help my friends to achieve their dreams.I am scared of losing.I am scared of losing you too.
That's why I keep on bringing up the NRA issue.Just hope that beside dancing,you can still see friends like me. Really thanks a lot for listening to my endless woes and not so funny jokes.
You become one of the driving force to keep me going when I am lossing my momentum.


The rest of the people I will continue another day.I am tired and there is Bcom networking session tomorrow.Plus there is dialogue with permanent secretary of MTI tmr.I don't even have time to do tutorial.
Photos from amazing race trial.I finally got them.










Photos from xiao tong's birthday.
one photo from quite sometimes ago.
I feel the feeling is glowing inside me.Hopefully it's not the bad feeling again this time round.

I just realize that I got so many things on hand.
Response paper;
Summary paper;
Long Report;
MA project;
FIT project;
Endless Tutorials;
Bamp.

I have no time to do this and that.
No time to work.
That's why my bank account balance is slow.
Until I have to put down my pride and ask my mum for money.

I just hope that I can cope well with all this;
Have to find a way to save my grades.
Wish me good luck for upcoming events.

Xiao Tong's Birthday Celebration.Finally she is 18!

Random Photo No 1.

Lack of time.

I skipped RFA lecture to do MA project.
Well, people maybe puzzled by my action.
But seriously I am running out of time.
Too much things to do,
yet too little time.
Projects,
CCA,
work.
And many more.
Why we are human beings who have only 24 hours per day?
Why is not 48 or 72 hours per day?
I know next week is going to be worse.
Next next week i will be busier than next week.
If I can stop procastinating;
If I can be more efficient;
If I can multi tasking at multiple places.
Then I think I won't be worried about shortage of time.

To many,I am sorry for not being attend this and that.
I will try to do whatever that I can do for everything.
My thoughts have no changed.
I just that graduation day can come really soon.

I think I should take more control of my emotions.
At least I should not let people around people worry too much.
Soon my sunny bright smile will be back again.
Halloween photos.


A ghostly figure.

Village portrait.I am the elderly there.

Village portait again.

Fighting scene

Celebrated NP's 45th birthday. We actually planted a tree in school. Imagine 15 or 20 years down the road, when you are back to NP,then you see your small tree becomes a huge tree.Wow..
Engineering performance

My buddies in society

Congrats to Obama for becoming US first black president.

Changes are needed.

Not just for US,for everything and everyone else.

I know that I should not be write too much emo post.It's going to affect the people around people.And people will know the dark side of me.
But if I cannot be truthful to myself,who else can i be true to?
People often said that what i wrote is different from my behaviour.
For years and years,I have portray myself as an outing,bubbly person.
Only very few people know the other side of me.
Now my acting skill is more polished.
I can simply fake out a bright sunny smile when I am totally depressed.


Why are you so depressed?
You are not in your normal self.
Your results is so good,where is there to worry?
Questions and questions.Not out of concern,but out of curiosity.
My answer is always nothing followed with a super fake smile.


Facts No 1:
I am really sick of school.
I feel like quiting school.
Well,I am not as talented as Bill Gates who can afford to quit school.
If I really quit school,what can i do?Will my life will be better?
Maybe I will just end up being a lowly paid factory worker or shop keeper,
who cannot earn up to support herself.What about those big dreams that I had when I was young?
I don't hate studying.I love to know new things.
I just hate going to school.It is getting chaotic in school.
Friends,projects and everything else.
Who is friend and who is not?It's a problem harder than chicken and egg.


Facts No 2:
I am having a bad relationship with my mum.
I am trying to be more fillial, she is trying to be nicer to me.
But somehow we ended up quarrel more and more.
Yes..She brought me up,she suffered a lot over the days.
I have to repay her.
That's one of the reason that keep me alive until today.
The gap between us is widening like the widen income gap.
Maybe I am too pity,I just cannot forget about what she has done.
She thinks I can forget about it.
She thinks I can recover so soon from it.
But I am not.
Those things are still haunting me down.


I used to have this thing call feeling;
I used to hold this power call confidence;
I used to possess this jewel call motivation.
Now I have none of them.
I am reaching the bottle neck of my life.
Another walking dead body.


You should be more optimistic.
Don't be emo.
If we are get rid of depression so easily,
why there are so many people are commiting suicide everyday?
In the past, I have good memories to pre-occupy myself.
Now,good memories are gone.Only the bad ones are left behind.
I don't see myself going anywhere
What can a dead soul achieve without any motivation?

I just hate the way I am.
Shower me with your pity if you think I am a beggar.

Sometimes I really think I am an alien,
I don't understand about the complexity of the world.
Or rather I like to magnify the matters too much.
I like to turn a small matter into problem,
a problem into disaster;

Many people think that I am too pessimistic.
It's just the way I am.
I know people like to hang out with friends who are lovely,
bubbly,outgoing,fun and many more.
Who like to befriend with a burden.
Life isn't a fairytale.
There is no kind hearted angel or prince charming walking around to save the world.
This world is full of selfish people,
who cares about the life of the others as long as he is happy.

I don't believe in love and marriage.
I don't want myself to lose faith in friendship too..
But it seems it's happening.
Love,marriage(or maybe friendship) are just holy craps.
Who said family environment have no impact on the child?

I just hate my life now.
It simply sucks.
How I wish that I can graduate really really fast?
And get out of this place soon.

天气好，天气坏。
很多事情看起来很简单，
其实很复杂。
漫无目的的过日子，
假装的快乐和充实。
火星人的世界，
星球之间的距离。
其实快乐真的不容易。
等一个奇迹，
不可能的可能。
可能也许或者假如，
今天就会变成昨天，
昨天就会变成最后一天。
窒息的感觉，
是不是象征了末日的临近？

我好想好想飞，
逃离这个疯狂的世界。

Back

While,over the weekends,I went for TDP huddle and MSA camp.
It's really a pity that both of them acutally clashes,
that's why I have to excuse myself from MSA camp.
Through the huddle,I learnt a lot of current affairs.
And more importantly,get to know more like minded friends.
Though the response paper is due next week,which means I have to do research over the week.
I really enjoy the whole experience.

It's just so easy and fun to mingle with people with similar mindset.
And I have found many like minded people there who shared the same view as me.
Hope to see them again in the next huddule.

MSA camp is finally over.
It's a good experience.
I didn't take any photo during the camp coz we are simply too busy.
We did manage to bond the MCs and SCOs together,
which definately achieve our camp objective.
A round of appulause to all the project heads.
Hui Kuoon,Tricia,Rebekah,Yi Min,Jonathan and me.

Expectations are set base on our own desire.
When expectations are not meet,we get disappointed.
Let's just get over all the unhappiness.
It's going to get better and better.
Unhappiness,sorrow and disappoitment is just a part of our life.
We got to live with it.
At least we got to share with one another together.
Problems are a good thing.Is it?
Finally we can talk about things so openly.

Many things just don't go according to your wish.

Totally Shocking

I went for jogging for the past two days.

It's a good feeling to jog in the nature park.

Smell scent of nature,

Feel the warmth of the forest,

Experience the feeling of freedom.

I enjoyed the feeling of running alone,

until I found out something shocking this morning.

A dead body is found in Bukit Batok Nature Park,

where I went for jogging.

Just some spectulations:

1.I may just run past the the corpse without realizing it.

2.I may saw the murderer without knowing it.

3.I may be the victim if I went to the other side of the park.

4.Something else may happen.

This is my 3rd encounter of the year.

First one is fire;

Second one is car accident;

Now it's murder case.

I should considered myself lucky,

escaped from all this fatal incidents.

Maybe I should go temple and pray hard for my safety.

Some people are simply irritating.

I cannot understand about their hunger for power.

Should I fight?

Should I let them off?

It's has been a week since school have restarted.
Nothing changes except my mood.
Well,conflicts starts to arise when there are different opinions.
Let's skip this portion.
Ignore all the unhappiness.


Ai Ping invited me and Shell to her house.
Well,it's has been long since we last met up.
Coz she went for serve trip for 2 weeks.
I think serve trip is really worth going.
By seeing all the pictures she have taken,
I realize it's a waste of not going.
If I have a chance,
I should go.
It's really going to change or rather purify your heart and soul.

Took a lot of ARTISTIC photos before heading to Shell's house.
Good chat and nice dinner at her house balcony.
No more fabulous words nor mushy sentences.
I just cannot imagine what will happen if she really go overseas.
Hope she can get into NUS,so that I can still see her around.


I just hope everything is over soon.
I can get out of this place as soon as possible.
Maybe I will be reluctant,maybe I will miss it.
But I really need some changes.
Some injection of new blood into my life

All this photos are taken by my handphone camera
How I wish I can have a better camera.