Once again, my hope was destoryed.
Maybe hopes are meant to be destoyed just as school rules are meant to be broken.
How i devastating i feel?
Beyond the description of words.
Maybe i am destined to live this way.
Maybe it's time to pay for my mother's effort in grooming me up.
I have nothing to say about it.
I just hope miracle do exist.
From today onwards, i shall pray every hard.
I don't want to remain the vicious cycle.
I want a break through.
I am super ambitious,
that's something i must admit.
But that does mean i will do anything wrong?
why i am punished this way?

Some depressing things happened this week,
but there are things that enticed me.
I must thank GOd for that.
It's too much of a coincidence.
I never imagine that i could reunion of the old friends of mine .
But it did happen.
Definately not by chance.
Though they may not regard it as important as i do,
but i will cherish this chance.
To be continued

One more week to the end of o level..
Initially i am quite stressed about it,
but when u really go inside the exam hall,
I feel nothing more than a sense of achievement.
Yes, i am going to do well for this exam.
I am going to be top scholar of the year..
The story i wrote last week is rather stupid.
I also don't know the reason for me to write such a stupid story.
Many things happened this week..
Actually nothing much..
I was converted from Xingdanism to Christian.
Many may said that i lost my princles.
Maybe,maybe not.
I have taken a longer route to reach Christ.
I used more than a year to clear my thoughts and join the Christian Community.
One pastor had said something that moved me.
I forgot the exact phrase,but i remembered it's something about loneliness.
I am feeling lonely and empty.
Maybe i want to have something fill up my hallow heart.
That's why i decide to change.
Next year i am going to celebrate my 18th birthday.
I really don't want to celebrate it alone.
Maybe i made a wrong decision,
but i am not going to regret it..
Coz i have already made so many wrong decisions,
i don't mind to have one more.

Story(part 1)

Got nothing to do, so i decide to write a story for everyone..
过了这么久，我还是搞不清我们之间的关系。
是我单方面的暗恋？还是时间跟我们开了个玩笑？
认识他的时候，我只有13岁。
以前也喜欢过几个人，
但是对他的感觉却很不一样。
第一眼看到他，就知道我们之间就会有什么故事发生。
因为要大家都是要出国的小留学生，所以大家都住在一起。
一起上课，一起玩。
还记得第一次上课的时候，
他塞了张纸条个我。是个蛮好笑得笑话。但是我却不敢打开，也不知道怕的是什么。那时候，我是个很死板的女生。上课的时候就一定要听课，不然我就不给他好脸色看。我虽然很凶，但是他没次都会听我的话。
我还记得他的眼神，他在桌子上刻的字。不是很清晰，但是还是看得出那三个字。
我以为虽然我们之间的关系没说，但是大家新里都是有数的。
可是我错了。这个时候她出现了。
其实她一直都存在着，在我们1之间，只是没那么重要。我可以算是她的恩人。当她被别的女生欺负时，是我收留了她，安慰她，保护她。我以为好朋友就是该这样。
她是个很外向的女生，跟男孩很好的那一种。因为喜欢一起玩游戏，他们之间的关系越来越好。但是我对他们放心，因为她曾经对我说，他喜欢我。不过我只是笑笑。
终於有一天，我不想看到的事情发生了。当我走过我们hostel的公园的时候，我看到了他们。没牵手，但是眼神却很暧昧。我记得那是个星期天。
接着，我决定自己推出。反正自己又不是他的谁，反正自己又比不上她，继续下去又有什么用。
他比我先去新加坡的。他走的三天前，有一次也曾远远的看着我。一样的眼神，就是当初我被吸引的那眼神。我想跟他告别，但是却股不起勇气。信在手里握了三天，直到他走的那天，我才有了勇气。但是一切都太晚了。送他的人太多，我只好远远的望着。我们就这样错过了。。。