I think those people who doesn't know me well will think that I have split personality.
One moment I can be so emotional, the next moment I can be so happy over simple things.
I am learning how to be happy and how to think positively.
Perhaps it will just take time.

I finally met up with Ivy today.
It has been so long since I last met her.Well, our meeting is really infrequent.
Anyway I am so glad that I actually know someone like her, who will expose me to different things and share with me different kind of opinions and advice.
Going to meet some new friends from States/New Zealand/India next week.
Sounds exciting, is it?

Asked Wei about work and travel programme USA.woohoo.
Glad that he hasn't totally forget about me,
and he even said he is willing to offer me high interest loan to go for the trip.
Not sure about how true it is, but I am happy to hear about that.
Even mum is supporting me to apply for work and travel programme USA.
Finally I am one step closer to my dream.
Hawaii,New York,LA and many more places.

Moving to my hall tomorrow.
And I am going to survive on my own.
I don't know if I can cope with everything,
but I am going to face it with a smile.
Wish me luck.

希望有一天

希望有一天，我能变得温柔，不用在坚强。

希望有一天，我能开心的笑，不用什么掩饰。

希望有一天，我能做我想做的事情，

想唱就唱，想写就写，想拍照就拍照，想跳舞就跳舞。

希望有一天，我也能再一次相信爱情，感觉得到那份纯真，

让自己也沉浸在幸福中。

希望有一天，我希望的这一天能到来。

虽然我知道可能不会有那么一天，但是我还是相信着。

做个笨人也有好处，要是什么都看开了，人生还有什么乐趣？

I am writing on my blog again.
Seriously I am feeling very vexed over some issues
and I have no idea who should I talk to.
I think I am the greatest liar in the world.
I am so good in deceiving myself, pretending everything is ok.
But in fact, I know that I am not ok.
I am not hurt, I am just sad.

A memoir for my ridiculous summer.
Me: I think I am falling for you&....
X:I think you think too much.Go uni,study well and have a happy good time.
Me:Well,maybe you are not that great either.I am going to find a good guy in uni.
X:That's why I said you think too much already.Happy searching.
Me:The one who have fallen for you is the backpacker me, not the student me.Thanks for knocking me into consciousness.
X:Luckily she is still young.
Me:what if she is not young?
X: Things may turn out differently.
Me:How different can it be?
X:Nothing.Keep in touch.

A bad and good day

I made the first confession in my life and I got rejected.
I was actually happy that I got rejected, kind of contradicting,right?
Li Tze said my life is very colourful, but it's not filled with all the good colours.
I rather want to have a simpler life instead.

Had a nice day trekking around Singapore with friends.
It's really nice to hang out with nice people.
You just feel so comfortable to be with them.

A good and bad day.
I should quit my habit of trying to be unusual.
Accept the fate.

I decided to take it even though it maybe a conditioner offer.

What else can I do?

My life is contradicting.
Some stranger are offering you to help you when your close friends turned you away.
I don't know if I should accept the offer,
or should I wait for Y to come back.
There is no free lunch in this world.It will definitely come  with a price.
Can I afford to pay?Maybe I can since I have nothing more to lose.

Somehow I have a definition for friendship.
This world is a live stock exchange.

Life is much tougher than I thought it to be.
I am still feeling helpless.
Where are the angels?
Where is my tomorrow?

All I can do now is to beg for help, what else can I do?

The problem is still not solved.
I am only left with two weeks.
Where to find someone to help when your close friend even turned you down.
Perhaps I should just withdraw my uni application.
My problems all start off from money.
Finding a job maybe is more realistic than pursing a degree.
Who else can I turn to?
My mother?
Friends?
Maybe I should just throw away my pride and my dignity and start to beg people to help me.
That's my last resolution.

Goodbye and Hello

Some friends you don't have to meet them very often,
maybe once or twice a year,
yet you can feel the closeness in between.
You just feel so secure and comfortable to be with them.
They give you support and guidance when you are in need.
They don't scold you even if you are wrong.
It's like family.
I was really blessed to have found friends like this.

I think I am lucky.
The reason that most of the times I don't think I am lucky is that I was overshadowed by my dark side. Then I lost my directions in life.
Someone has told me,
you got to let new things to come in and move on in life.
Think about your future plans and think about other important things in life.
Why bother about unnecessary things?




After thinking through it throughoutly, I decided to say goodbye to it.
It's not worthwhile to catch a fire just coz I want to see the brightness of a sparkle.
Goodbye my past, hello my new life.
I am moving on, laying down plans for my uni and my life.

My short term goals:
1.Become a property agent and maintain a decent earning per month.
2.Become friendlier and more optimistic about life.
3.Double my investment within a year.
4. Cycling around TW and join work and travel programme to US next year
5.Study smart and got a decent grade.
6.Enjoy my life, doing things that I like to do.
Most importantly, maintain good relationship with my friends and family.

God Bless Me.Everyday is getting better.

Straightened out my thoughts

I have straightened out my thoughts.
Now I feel so relieved.
Thank god for everything.
All the advice and HTHT with my close friends.
I managed to eat the Mexican food that we used to have at CBP today.
And I finally met up with Jacinth and Celeste.
So much things to look forward to.
Wavehouse, ice skating and many more.
Life is more spendid than I thought.

I cannot let my mind rest, even for a single minute.
Everytime I let it rest, then it starts to wonder off.
I think I can never meet anyone good in this life.
Fairy tales can never happen to me.
I must have done a lot of astrocious crimes in my past life,
that's why I am meant to be suffering in this life.

给我一个快乐的理由

我真很不开心，
很多事情我想做，但是我却没办法做。
我不能，我的理智告诉我我不能。
就算做了也没有好结果。
可是我有控制不了我自己，总是想太多。
女人都是这样，一个字，贱。

家里还是一样多的问题，
经济问题，健康问题。问题总是解决不完。
就算我逃避了半个月，事情也没有好转。
前途也很渺茫，我也不知道自己会不会达成自己的愿望。
关于朋友这个问题，也变得越来越复杂，
不是你对别人好，人家就对你好的。
很多事情都是靠缘分。

为什么大人的生活就越来越复杂？
我可不可以不要长大？
难度我都找不到快乐的理由？

I don't know what I am doing,
but I cannot control myself.
Stop thinking about it.
Please..You need to be awake from the dreams.

Random thoughts

I have been travelling for the past 13days.
It's not a long time, but there is a lot of stories.
Currently I am at Mui Ne, a fishing village not far away from Saigon.
I am so blessed that I actually met some Chinese girls on the bus to Mui Ne.
Had been hanging out with them for the past two days, they are really outgoing and friendly.My stay at Mui Ne won't be so fun without them.

I have been meeting old and new friends along the way.
Yong Gao at Bangkok to Siam Reap,
Fiona and David at Siam Reap,
Jamin and friends at Siam Reap,
Paul,Celeste and Lauren at Nomads at Phnom Penh,
Jing Yi and Edward at HCMC,
and Cao Jie and friends at Mui Ne.
Without them, my journey won't be so fun and safe.

It feels good to be away from all the worries, problems and shackles of life.
When I am on the road,I can be totally free and do things of my wish.
But I know when I am back to Singapore,
I have to be back to my normal life and
start to worry about finance, university,friends and love.
Afterall. I still have to live in reality.
Dreams cannot last forever.

After seeing all the poverty and sadness in life,
I think I am rather fortunate.
I shall begin a new chapter when I am back to Singapore.
No more reluctance about the past.
No matter how tough my future is going to be,
I will smile to the end.
Bless me.

It seems it's not that easy to let go and totally ignore it.
Wrong timing,wrong place and wrong person.It's just so wrong to be right.
It's ok.I am going to forget it soon.I am going to find someone in uni.There's plenty of good ones in uni,isn't it.
Off to Mui Ne to enjoy the breeze of the sea

昨天看报纸的时候，看到了一篇文章，关于男人和女人的。作者说很多结了婚的男人跟老婆的关系都像兄妹，虽然没有了爱情，但是却少不了对方。原来结婚以后的人的关系是这样的，怪不得这么多人想要结婚，想要多个亲人。
可能没有什么背叛不背叛的，只是对不一样的人有不同的感情,有时候是精神上的满足，有时候是身体上的。有些时候，我都不知道自己做的东西对不对，很多东西都是一时冲动，一时好奇，可能我真的该安份一点，不要有那么多的想法。想的越多，对自己越不利。
可能我真的是个怪人，才会有这么多的怪想法。有些事情，不是你想改变就能改变的。
心里的想法太多，有点想要暴炸的感觉。谁能解救我呢？
Though i have talked to someone about it,i am still thinking about it.No.That's not the way the game is played.Please don't let me fall into the trap.God bless me.

Sometimes travelling alone can be really lonely,especially seeing all the couples beside me.
I am not as strong as i thought to be.Sometimes i am vulnerable too
在这个城市发生的事情就留在这个城市吧，有些东西不需要带走。

有时候野性跟理智斗争，理智都输了。明知道这样不对，明知道这游戏很危险，却很难控制了自己。
i am crazy.

Even if you have read about what I wrote, don't ask me why.
I will explain to you if I feel like to.
Anyway a lot of things happened this few days,
disturbed my emotional balance,
so that's why i am writing weird stuff again.
I am leaving Bangkok soon.
All this memories will be left behind in Bangkok.

Something weird happened.
While, I always knew that it will happen.
But when it really does,
I don't know how to react to it.
I am really good enough to handle this kind of situation.
Can I remain cool about it?
I seriously have no idea.
But I know that I cannot afford to play this game.
I shall quit this game soon.

Prelude of my trip

Today marks the beginning of my 15days adventure.
I know that many have done similiar things before,
however it is quite significant to me.
It marks another different stage of my life.

I have slept at Changi Airport for 3 hours in order to catch the early flight.
Since I have going on super tight budget, I have to save every single cent,including taxi fare.
Hopefully I won't overspend,
hopefully the journey is safe and I won't get lost.
hopefully I will meet nice people along the way,
hopefully I will have lots of fun on the road!
Woohoo.Leaving Singapore in 1 hour times.
Get ready to say hello to Bangkok.

Finally I can call myself a backpacker!