It's going to be another depressed post.
Anyway I am always a very dark person.
Colourful posts are not my forte.
I am always trapped in the shadow of my past and worries of my tomorrow.
Can I stop worrying?
Can I stop workhard?
I cannot.
If I don't work hard, I have nothing to fall back on.
I always thought that one decides his/her own fate.
Now I realized that it's not so true.
God decides who you are and what kind of life you are leading.
I hate this.
I hate working so hard.
I hate pretend to be strong.
But it's not you have a choice for everything.
You still have accept your destiny.
Sometimes i cannot even differetiate between fake happiess or real happiness.
Coz most the times I am not happy.
I am smiling for the sake of smiling.
I don't know how does being happy feel like.
Anyway my life is cheap.
Every year I have no idea whether I will live until the next birthday or not.
So it doesn't really matter if I am happy or not.
Cheap life don't really have much demand about life.
When you are younger, you got amazed by idol drama.
When you grow up, you realized all this are just fantasies.
Fantasies about life.
There won't be an angel even when you feel so helpless.
All you have is only youself.
Forget it.
I have this kind of fate.
What else can I ask for my life?
Everyday is just one more day.
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