Somes I really think I am an alien to this world.
Having problems to mingle into the human world.
It's hard to find another alien in this world.
It's even harder to find another alien that speaks the same language as me.

Perhaps there is no graduatation trip.
Anyway we also cannot settle on a destination.
Good and bad.
At least I don't have to compromise my dreams.

Bless me.

Happy day

Today I had a happy day.
Interviewed for temp job@AIA in the morning,
Though I was rejected,but I did feel sad.
Coz I actually got another job.
3 Months contract with acceptable pay.

Lunched at Ikea alone.
But I don't feel lonely.
Instead I feel kind of cool.
Like I am some freelance writer or designer.

Bought mask and clothes online.
Shopping makes me happy.
Moral of the story,
even if you are ugly,fat,unwanted,
you still can be happy,
as long as you decided to be happy.

Angry

Sometimes U just feel like don't care.
Why should I always be Miss Nice when everyone else is Miss/Mr don't care?
Going for job interview tomorrow.
Hopefully I still have time to drop by changi businee park before going to Jimmy's house.
Bless me.

My not so happy Chinese New Year

I think everyone else's life is more interesting than mine.
Is my luck that bad?

I don't want another year with bad luck.

OMG.Singapore airline is having sales with their tickets.

Why can't they have sales at later part of the year?

For example,july.

By then I can save up enough $$,

and travel to the places I want.

Of course,Chinese new year.

I seriously hate this festival.

I have no relatives no visit.

Spent it like usual in the super boring way.

Sometimes I really wish that I am not a chinese,

so that I don't have to endure this festival.

Well.God of fortune,

please be kind to me since I am so pathetic,ok?

I am still confused.

Though I know that I have no hope.

My heart does not let go so easily.

Have to find a new job soon.

God bless me.

Stupid thoughts

Stupid thoughts keep on running throught my head.
My emotions is again out of control.

幸福

我们一直都在找，
找寻幸福这种东西。
一次又一次的恋爱，
不过希望能遇到幸福,
可是好多时候，幸福就在我们身边，
只是自己不经意，就跟它擦肩而过。

因为害怕受伤，
我都一直活在伪装出的坚强下。
因为害怕失望，
所以就不抱有希望。
好不容易，
在茫茫人丛中找到一个感觉对的人，
结果发现还是有缘无份。

很多东西我都不在乎，
什么年龄，
什么地位，
什么金钱，
只有有爱情，有幸福，
我可以放弃一切，
反正我一直都活在梦想中。

如果我们早一点认识，
如果我遇到他在别的地方，
如果我能对爱情，对自己都多一点自信，
如果对追求幸福再主动一些，
如果还有如果，
可能事情真的不一样。

可能幸福真的存在，只是我再一次错过。

Contradiction

Months ago, I was desperate for this day.
Now the days are drawn near,I feel so reluctant.
Yes.The day is the day that my internship ends.
Work is definitely not the part I will miss.
Most probably the people.

Life is about opportunity.
Sometimes you are just not fated with certain people and things.
Maybe if you have met some people earlier,
then things will be different.
Life is full of perhaps.
But most of the times perhaps doesn't happy.

Bless me all the best.
I wish things can turn out well.

Perhaps life is never fair.
For the past 21years, I struggle so hard to get myself a decent life.
Yet life has been pretty much the same.
Still a torture.
I tried so hard to smile,
I tried so hard to hide,
I tried almost everything else to make myself happy.
In the end I realize happiness can never belong to me.

Today I saw the tiny little newborn of my landlord family.
Today I saw how happy and warm that Yu Lin' family is.
It seems like family is the thing that I can never have.
Of course,I have imagine myself having a happy family a thousand times.
But in the reality I have nothing but a sick mother.

My strength has used up.
My courage has eased away.
I don't know how long can I continue with all the struggle in my life.

My lesson learnt through attachment

As time passes by, through every little thing that happens around us,
we learn our lesson.
Some of them are valuable,
some of them are crucial.

I really learnt a lot of things this few years.
BA Society, the 5th semester in school and then attachment.
Nevertheless, attachment taught me the most about life and work.
Attachment is a chance whereby you are forced to work with different of people,
tolerate their kind of personality and dealing with them.

I have seen a lot at work,
all type of people.
Good,bad and the not so good yet no so bad type.
Some people are nice to hang out with,
yet they are not so nice to work with.
And some of the people just cannot stand people who are performing better than them.
Again,add in some inmature thoughts.
I simply cannot stand some people from girl "elite" school.
Please..Good O level result doesn't mean anything.
I don't mug that much,
I still can outperform you.
Then what can you say about your IQ level?
God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason.

Secondly, I have learnt that you have to be yourself.
It's easy to lost yourself.
When everyone else penalizes you or underestimate your value,
it does not mean your true value is low.
You have to believe in yourself.
There is only a fine line between sucking up and socialize.
Only you can get it clear.

Thirdly,friendship.
Friendship is not indispensable, but supplementary
You cannot really expect much from your friends.
As times go by, friends start to drift away.
I have been wanting to say this a thousand times,
but I kept it inside me without complaining to anyone.
The thoughts are haunting me.
So I decided to blog this out.
If you happen to see this,
then just take it or leave it.

I am not particularly happy with my poly friends.
Sometimes I am wondering am we just companions or are we friends?
Perhaps they have no choice as there is not many people to hang out with,
that's why they chose to me my friends.
Especially some.
Never mind,friends,love or relationship is all depend on fate.
Maybe I am just detestable, I don't have the fate to have such friends.
I don't contact you, you don't contact me.
Soon the contact is on yearly basis.
Then the contact is lost.
Everyone just carry on with their own life.
It's nor possible to have lots of good friends,
one good friend is better than a thousand friends.

I am not being negative.
Just being frank about life.
Tomorrow I am going to wondering around,
listen to my heart and my soul.
Wish me luck.

10 more days to unemployment.

About 10 more days to the end of attachment,including today.


Then I am out of a job.




But this time round I am no hurry into finding a job.
I think I should put aside sometime do something about my current condition.
As I was reading through the book rich dad, poor dad.
I was enlightened by the book.
One should not work for money,
if she can let money to work for her.

Many people work so hard and
work makes their life miserable.
At work, you can hear the complaints everyday.
Why should you let work kill your passion,your joy in life?

Haiz..Valentine's Day is coming.
I don't like this day.
Another single Valentine's day.
When can my love blossom?

Bless me all the best.