Moving again.

I am moving house once again.
It just made me feel like a strayed cat.

For years and years,we have been moving.
Everytime when I feel I am so used to it,
then we have to move again.
For the past 20 years, I never have a home.
For the earlier 13 years, we do have a small house.
It is more like a little box, but it's better than nothing.
Many will not understand how it is like not having a home.
You feel that you belong to nowhere.

It's ok not to have a house of your own.
It's not so ok to not have a home of your own.
Though I am not a family oriented person,
I still have crave for a home.
A home that belongs to me.
Somewhere that I can find warmth and harmony.
It is more of a riducule than a reality.

Maybe it explains why I don't wish to get married or I feel so insecure all the times.
I guess family background really have an impact on a person's life.
The reason for me to appear as a strong and sometimes dominant woman is
because I have no choice.
I have nobody to depend on,
I have to be strong.

Sometimes I just feel it's tiring.
All you can do is nothing but striving to be the best.
I tried so hard to raise my wealth profile and social status over the years,
yet there is no improvement at all.
And I lose more than what I gain.
Today when i was walking on the street,
I simply feel like crying.
What do I have such a pathetic life?

But I am 20,I cannot cry anymore.
I am no longer a kid.
Tear are for kids,not adults.
Even if I cry,it will not make a difference.
Hopefully it's going to push me further,
so that I can study harder for my SAT.

If there is God,then drop me a nice man from the sky.
I will be more than glad.