Photos,memories

Today I was looking for thesaurus,then I discovered my secondary school graduation autograph book.
A photo of class 4E5 2006.
I have not seen many of them since graduation, including those friends I used to hang out with.
Time drove people apart.
While browsing through the autograph book, I saw a lot of good comment.
3 words that are most frequently used are smart,funny and weird.
That's their impression of me in secondary school.

I was delighted to see those comments.
My friends and my teachers think very highly of me.
I was good back in secondary school.
Smart, funny and with good attitude most of the times.
But what happen to me now?
I have been not seeing those friends for centuries.
I chose to believe that I am a piece of trash when I am not.
I chose to live in agony, abandon my dreams and hopes.

Humans are contradicting most of the times.
at least for species like me.
Sometimes you told yourself to be good,
but you give up a while later, thinking of all the bad points about yourself.
Time to reflect.
Time to do something.

其实我真的有点舍不得，可是决定了，就不能后悔了。

I hate school

I hate school.
Though some modules actually managed to grab my attention,like audit 2 and AFA,
the fact of going to school doesn't entice me.
I don't feel good attending lectures and even tutorials.
I hate going to school all alone,
feeling like a nobody,
hanging with people of different frequency,
not getting the attention as I used to have.
The feeling is not good.

Yes.Life got to move on.
One cannot stay onto the same place for long.
But I don't wish my final year to be this way.
Maybe it's my attitude that hinder myself from moving on.
I am too used to be who I am,
I am too used to be arrogant and not taking the initiative to make friends.
Everyone else is changing to be better, only me is getting worse.

Today I gave it a miss to meet my fellow villagers.
I am tired and I am feeling really sucky if that's the correct word to use.
I think my life is in a mess, neither here or there.
It there's any way to change it, I will do it.
Now the problem is I cannot find the way, I am lost.

I am going back to the same old job.
Working in the banquet department is something I detest,
Reason being I hate the fact to let my pride to be humilated and trashed by those managers.
No choice, I need a job.
If I want some changes to my life,
I need money.I hate where I am now, so I need to change.
If I want to retire at age of 40, I need to do something now.

I need to talk, I need to cry,I need to let it all out.

People that I love to hang out with.

Short of Xue Feng.That one that is missing forever.

My house's internet is a bit problematic, that's why I can hardly upload any pictures.
Well, I think this semester that I should go on with a new direction.
Do something that I always want to do;
Do something that I always like to do.
I want to slim down, have a nicer figure than my out of shape body.
I want to look nicer, so that...
I want this and I want that.
And I am going to start doing them now!

Thursday is coming!Me love thursday!

Empty

I never feel so empty.Now That's how i feel.First time attending lecture without my gang.Suddenly there's nobody to joke with me in the lecture hall.Suddenly there's nobody to go crazy with me.
Suddenly i miss them so much.
Mayb it's good for me to learn to be independent.I have become so reliant on them,tat's why i am feeling so empty now.
A semester of training for me to get use to the adult world.
Imagine a life without society,without my gang,i don't know how am i going to take it.

Back from chalet

Just came back from society chalet.
Well,I tried a lot of new things.
Fishing, cycling from east coast to changi and looking at trans in the middle of the night.
Of course, i had fun though it's not all the times.

I don't know what is happening to me nowadays,
at some point of time, I will just set myself in wonders.
Like before I go to sleep, when i was fishing and when i was gazing at the stars.
I tried not to think too much and just talk and behave like a normal person.
But this weirdness in me is making me behave abnormally.
My mentanlity is simply too dramatic, far off the ground.

At least,I have answers for a few things for myself.
1.Should I join back MC?
I won't.It's definite unless something exceptional happens.Though I miss the unitness and sense of achievement,However, the other side of joining the society cannot be neglected too.
It's constantly making me feel insecured. Sometimes it just make me wonder who is my true friend and who is not.I am already someone who is feeling so insecured almost all the times. I don't want to make it worse and I want to do something I like,for example, volunteering work, traveling and learning tennis.

2.What is happening to me?
I think I am getting more and more paranoid, even little things are making me worried. I found it hard to trust people.I found it tough to talk to people seriously. And I found it hard to believe in myself. My emotions are not properly controlled. Any unhappiness I will just dispose inside me. Singing isn't working anymore.

3.Will I ever be in love again?
Most probably no and highly unlikely no.Firstly,I am not attrative,in terms of appearance and character. If I am a guy,I won't be interested in people like me. Secondly, I am still dwelling too much on my past. I think it had a very huge impact on me, on the way I handle my relationship and my one sided love. When i passed by places like changi airport and east coast park, the memories flashed back to me again. Though there are inmaterial, I still cannot resist to think about them. I can picture myself being alone in 10, 20 or even 50 years times. It's ok to be alone especially when I have been alone for so many years.

School is restarting soon.New semester, new attitude and new me.

Confused, sad and disappointed.

I am confused now.
Coz I don't know what choice should I make.
It is worse than last year.
I like this feeling.
I hope to make it last.
But at the same times,
I also miss the feeling of being free and easy.
There's a lot of things I need and want to do.

I am sad.
Coz the year 3s are leaving.
We can hardly to see them around in school already.
I can still remember vividly when I was year 1,
when Jerel was my ASCO and SF.
I also remember when I was sub-com,,
the year 3s are there to guide us.
Now they are going to leave us.

I am disappointed.
Coz my hairstyle is really weird.
Obviously that's not the reason.
I am disappointed with my class.
I thought I was going to be the same class as someone.
But then I am not.
Not fated.
And I think I can stop dreaming.
I always dream too much.
Time to come back to the reality.

All about BAOC

BAOC 2009 is over.
It's the 3rd BAOC I have been through.
BAOC 2007 I was a performer;
BAOC 2008 I was a subcom;
BAOC 2009 I was the vice president.
Different roles, different feeling.



It's a tough journey for this one year in BA society.
All the thick and thins.
Sometimes, I feel really lousy and wanted to give up.
Luckily there are friends who supported me and guide me along.
Thank you so much.
Through this one year, I think I really learnt and grown.
Not just become more experienced in events planning,
Also become more sophiscated and matured.

Now everything is over.
I feel both relieved and sad.
Relieved as I have my freedom back,
I don't have to bear with people I don't like.
I feel sad as it's over.
We can rarely gather together again.
Good times do not last.
That's why they are kept in memories.

I wanted to write more about BAOC, about BA society.
But there are too many things on my mind.
About people, about my life is BA society
Maybe I shall write another times when I am feeling more peaceful.

Friday met up with my lovely friends.
Every friday is the day I love the most.
Though I gave it a miss sometimes due to some reasons,
I know how important they are to me.
A true friend worth a thousand times than those so calle friends.
I am glad to found them in poly.

A good sleep;
A good dream.

如果我有的选择，我一定不会选现在的这条路，
这条路好长，好累。
我真的累了。
自己不开心，也要假装坚强。
就算不是自己的错，也要自己撑。
我好想好想飞，
逃离这个疯狂的世界。

How capable am I?
I don't know.
I really found myself at a lost.
So many things I have not done.
And the worst thing is that I thought it will be go well.
The fact is it seems not going so well.

I don't want to let anyone down.
I don't want to make myself regret.
I don't want any crop up due to my mistake.
I just hope it will go smoothly.

I need help.
Seriously.

I am no longer me.

I still have the weird feeling inside.
And it seems to be growing.
I feel so sorry for neglecting many of my friends.
Sorry sorry and very deeply sorry.
Whatever it comes,whatever it takes.

I am a serious person.
I think I am becoming more and more serious.
Things are here and there.
A lot of them.
I got to settle them.

Though I tried to face them with a smile,
sometimes it seems i am just not good enough to handle them.
I am not good at handling people too.
So what am I good at?

I know why I am so reluctant to come back to singapore.
I know why I miss Philippines so much.
It's a trip without worry.
No wonderful it can only be as part of my memory

Had a lot of fun this few days.
Friday finally met up with my Cebu Trip friends,
those from NP and NJC.
The same kind of happiness is back.
Watch the video of our Cebu trip.
All the memories suddenly flashed back.

I know many people shared the same feeling as I do.
Gerlad,Joy,Samuel and many many more.
All of us missed the trip.
All of us missed the heart to heart talk.
Hopefully we can go to Taman Negara together,
so that we can keep the bonding last.

Then head to Jonathan's house for Majhong.
My phone died on me again.
Luckily I still manage to find his house in the end.
I think my luck is really bad.
I forefeited a lot of times in a row.
Anyway it's fun.

Saturday met up with Horace,Hiu Tung,Sly and Kim.
The earth hour is really nothing.
Not all organizations support this kind of event.
Look forward to next friday and every friday.
Coz friday is the day we will be meeting.

I feel weird.
Very very weird.
Hope this weird feeling can be ceased.
And stop growing.

Why so serious?

In this world, you don't have to be good.
You don't have to be serious about everything.
As long as you are good at talking and socializing,
you can hide all your flaws.
That's the lesson I have learnt.

I dunno where I am heading,
am i doing the right things.
Maybe I should just do the same things as them.
I miss Philipines,almost every bit of the those memories.
Especially the genuiness.

I am not happy.
I miss my TA 29 gang.

Had a long chat with Bestie.
I love this feeling.
Always the same topic.
Our conversation has always been surrounding around relationship problems.

Of course, both of us don't have such problems coz we are not even involved in a relationship.
Sometimes I am just wondering am I bringing bad luck to my friends.
Those friends close to me are all single, or attached and broke up.
I haven been single for years.
Though there have been some up and down in between,
I am still single until now.

Sometimes I just wondering if i can find the right person.
I am going to be 20.
Half of my youth is gone.
My love affair is still in vain.
All I had is disappointment and dispair.

If I can have more courage,
If I can have more confidence,
I won't be in the same state as I am.
Maybe I am just not destined to have love.
So just let it be.

I still hope for some lights,
though it's dark outside.

I miss Philippines.

I miss Philippines.

In Philippines, everything is so simple and sincere.

We gaze under the star,

we open our heart to one another,

we show feelings from our inner most heart.



We simply indulge ourselves in trueness.

Everyone knows things will be the same once we are back,

so we treasure each and every moment.



I miss every little bit of Philippines.

Trip to Philippines

I am leaving for Philippines in a few hour' time.
Suddenly i feel a bit reluctant to go coz got so many things are not settled.
And someone have to cover the extra load for me due to trip.
Really sorry about it.
I will make it up before I come back.

Anyway I still have to go for the trip.
Coz it's important.
I know those people going for the trip also know the importance.
Hopefully I will have fun.
This morning,when I woke up,then i just thought of him.
It's always my one sided wish.

A mixed kind of feeling

Sometimes I know I think really too much.
Things happen here and there.
People are putting up too much of a hyprocrisy.
Sometimes u simply dunno whom to trust.

I start to get confused about friendship.
I start to get confused about trustworthiness.
I start to doubt who is my friend and who is not.
Who is true and who is not.
Or maybe they are not my friend.

Tough question.
I am so afraid of being hurt.
I think I am going back to the primitive me.
At the edge of breaking down.
Emotional distrubance.
and What else?
I need my confidence and me back.

突然发现，自己真的做了好多事。
开始怀疑自己做的事情到底值不值得。
从小到大，对人生多很认真，真的很认真，
总觉得付出就有回报。
可是发现这个世界需要的好像不是我这样的人，
只要会socialize,认不认真根本不重要。

对朋友总是太认真，
为了他们的一个微笑，
就算花多少心思也不要紧。
这么多年，我好像都在付出，根本没有回报。
真心都被当做是必然，
必然都成为习惯。

可能小的时候读了太多的书，
对这个世界充满太多的幻想。
其实如果能跟路人一样，
什么都不想，
用一样的公式过生活，
可能就不会有这个麻烦。

好多的时候，我的想法可能都太伟大。
看Slumdog的时候，就想着怎么去帮助印度的穷人；
就算自己在累，也要装着有活力，希望可以影响其它人；
总觉得每份友情都该有人付出，这样才能让它继续，
可是偏偏每次付出的只有自己。

我也是个人，脆弱的人。
不是什么能拯救世界的超人。
就算是超人，也有累得时候。
我也想要好好休息。
我也想要好好享受。

Happy Day

FInally Bamp is over.
I had a good day today.
Had afternoon tea with Hiu Tung, Kim man, Sylvester and Horace.
Chit chat and chit chat and more chit chat.
Then walk around in carrefour and discuss about tmr's plan.
Woohoo.Picnic is making me happy.
I simply want some relaxation of my hectic schedule.

what a wonderful world

I never knew a camp can be so bad.I never knew tat some people are so horrible.I never knew some people are so not them,as what i have known so far.It's seems everything is at my fault.It seems my ability dropped so much after joining this cca. I am utterly disappointed,not jus with myself,but more towards someone.Mayb my thoughts are rather immaterial.It teaches u about trust,honesty and protection.you never know a person's true colour.Tat's life.人心颇测。

My temper is getting bad this few days.
I think my character is shaped a lot by it.
Many people have told me or rather warn me about it,
the fact is I did not listen.I chose to believe my heart.

But now my heart seems is telling me that I did the wrong thing.
I did not have the ability to do those things.
I am too incapapble, to the standard that people have to scream at me at what to do.
Well, it never happen in my entire life.
Now it happened.

Sometimes I really doubt at my choice,
the opportunity cost seems to be really high.
Maybe it's something to make you grow.
One cannot enjoy her life always,
she got to get over some obstructions for her grow.

Soon,it will be over.
I have to preserve through.
No point of fighting over unnessary things,
If people aren't noble, it doesn't mean you have to be like them.

Photos from chinatown trip with Bestie.

I am feeling sorry for many people.
Sorry bestie for not able to celebrate your birthday with you.
Happy 19th birthday!
Sorry for not able to send sister off for her Ireland attachment.
Sorry for screaming at mum due to my bad temper.
Sorry for letting people who pin hopes at me down.

Suddenly I miss the sub-com days so much.

看着旧照片
感动很多，
舍不得也很多，
每天没有他们的日子，
可能真的会很寂寞。

是时候学会坚强的时候，
是时候学会勇敢的时候，
就算自己再懦弱，
也要坚持下去，
不能让周围的失望，
更不能让自己失望，
最不能让梦想失望。

我知道好多时候，
我都想太多。
不知道是大脑太过复杂，
还是里面的程序出了问题。
其实，我要的真的很简单。
一个好梦就让我让我开心一整天。
希望我能做个好梦

Changes in life

Went to Haji Lane last sat with Yu Rong.
Haji lane changed a lot,really a lot.
Not terms of structure,but atmosphere.
Back to 2 or 3 years,when I went there the first time.
I totally fell in love with the place.
It's peaceful, artistic and full of surprises.
I still remember this independent music shop, called Straits Record,
where I spent almost my entire day.
It's no longer there, it moves to somewhere else.
Now there whole street is full of people,
people smoking sisha(I dunno how to spell it).

Everyone changed a lot after graudate.
Many become so busy, until no time to meet up.
I am considered to be one of the them.
The last time I met up with Yu Rong is like 1 month again.
Unlike that time, we used to spend days and days together.
Now,everything is different.

Bestie wrote something on her blog,
which make me feel very touched, yet guilty.
Maybe I simply focus too much on CCAs.
Yes..It's good to be committed.
But,I simply forgone my times with them.
With my lovely friends.
I should spend more times with them.
Friendships need to be nurished.
Fate brought people together, to know one another, to become friends
and to be there for one another.
If we don't treasure it,
it maybe taken away without your notice.

Museum visit is fun.
I will go to more musuems after exam.
I know it's a bit selfish,
but I cannot give up my entire life for one thing.
It will end eventually,
but life still has to go on.

I have a dream

I had a lot of dreams before.
Teacher, president, business woman, poet,singer and etc.
Today i suddenly realize I have a more realistic dream.
If I work hard, it's acheiveable.
I want to buy a house at age of 26.
And I want to be a developer by 40.
Though I have a lot of things on hand now,
i can never stop dreaming.
I want to continue to dream,
and make my dream come true one day.
*Not just in sleep.

Jogging

Just came back from a long jog.

Tired but contented.

I have not been running for so long for ages.

I think I completed aroun 4 Km, at least 3Km plus.

Acutally I ran for 500m, then I felt a bit tired and wanted to go home.

On the way home, then I saw Joel.

Amazingly,he had been jogging all the way from CCK to Bukit Batok.

So I decided not to go back and continue to jog with him.

We went jog around Bukit Batok Nature Park, then went to Bukit Timah,

and then to Hillview Avenue, from there I jogged back home.

In total, I think I have run for around 3-4Km.

And the amazing thing is that I didn't stop, I managed to jog that long at one go.

Haha..I think that's the longest I jog in the past 2 or 3 years.

I shall continue to train, so that can get rid of my excessive fats.

Plus, jogging helps me to destress.

It helps me to brighten up my day and straighten out my thinking.

I brought a small pot of cactus on Valentine's day.

Something like the one in the pic, but smaller.

Hope this cactus can keep me motivated.

Be strong like a cactus and have the resilence.

Exams are just round the corner.

Dunno what kind of grades will I get this sem.

Hopefully it's something of my expectation.(3.9,I really hope)

MA:AD,RFA:A, FIT:A, Tax:A, TDP:AD, UR:A, Bcom:B+

My goal may sounds a bit unrealistic,

but I really hope for that grades.

All the best for me and everyone.

Bamp is the worst camp I ever had.
Nothing is worse than this.
I had the worst planning experience in my life time.
Maybe it's a training.
Train myself to work with people that I can't work with.
****.
I don't scold bad words, but they just come out of my mouth.
I have problem with managing this kind of situation.
I cannot think properly as I used to.
I need help.Angel,help me if there is one.

Some random photos we took last week, after our FIT and Bcom presentation.
With our advisor in LT68E.

Evidence of murder.



Very extra Sylvester

K box price raised so much.

We wanted to go K box on Monday, then realize that it's so expensive.

There must be something wrong K Box's pricing decision.

Don't they know that the economy is bad.

Haiz..There is very little entertainment that we can have.


Monday is Lunar Jan 15th.

So we had Tang Yuan.

It's really funny to eat Tang Yuan outside someone's shop.

But anyway it's pretty fun coz those people that I am eating with.

Today's Sub-com interview is really tiring.
It reminds me of my interview.

It's hard to be a interviewee, it's even harder to be interviewer.

Finally I knew the reason why they laugh during my interview.

我真的该减肥了，才放在自己现在肥成这样。

如果要是睡醒就能瘦下了，拿就好了。

I know that not everyone is so understanding.
Not everyone know that you are busy with a lot of things;
Not everyone know that some of the things are your needs, not your wants;
It's ok.I don't need the world to understand.

This semester is ending soon.
How I wish it will not end so fast?
I will not be able to be in the same class with them again.
It sounds childish, espcially for me.
But the fact of not be able to see them make me sad, sometimes I even feel like crying.

Nobody is going to listen to my grumble;
Nobody is going to go crazy with me;
Nobody is going to sing with me;
And nobody is going to be there to support me,make me feel like someone.
I am back to nobody again.

I felt this way 2 years back, when I was about to graduate from HS.
And this feeling is back to me again and this time round is even stronger.
I don't know will be like next semester.
I really start to regret about my choice initially.
I cannot turn back the time,
All I can do is to face it with a smile and
not give up so easily.

Problems are everywhere.
I just wish this can be over as soon as possible.
现在的我真的太认真，
这个世界似乎需要的不是认真的人，
至少不是我这种人。

Happy Chinese new year!

I don't really like CNY in general,

but since this year it's a good year, CNY should good too.

.

This year is rather a spendid year compared to the previous ones.

I just came back from society CNY gathering at Ziyi's house.

Though sometimes I really feel like giving up,

the feeling of being a society really pulled me through.

I like the feeling of being part of this big family.

Thank the planners for this gathering.

Thank Ziyi for the food.

Thank Jerel for the lecture.

Thank Ming Jun for the "Ang Pao".

So happy to meet up with bestie today.

Though sometimes we will quarrel ,

her chatter is really brighten up my days.

Gang reunion dinner on 31Dec,

Class CNY dinner on 3 Feb.

All this celebrations makes me love CNY more and more.

It's not about the food,it's about the people.

It's about the feeling of being together.

I have dreamt of him yesterday.

It seems like my life ceased in dreams.

Went to celebrate Siu Cing's birthday.
We had a simple dinner at Glass house.
Not many went, mainly last year's soc members.
She and Wilson are so sweet.
Haha.I am so good at predicating the future.
Maybe I should become a gypsy.

Sometimes I really envy last's soc member's unity.
It will be good if we can have the same outcome this year.
Hopefully.
Fish&Co made me so full,
and the excess cheese cake make me so sick.
Moral of the story, don't force yourself when you knew you really cannot.
Though it's a happy day,but I missed out 团圆饭。
团圆饭is equally important to me as everything else.

Yesterday's USP talk is really motivating.
At least it makes me think about my future and my strength.
How am I going to make myself become someone who is so good?
I don't know, but I knew that I will try.
Even if my ability is limited, I should set the right mood and attitude.
Sat is coming!Baking,gossiping and sharing.woohoo.xD

I dunno wat happen to me last year,
I made a lot of mistakes.
Mistakes after mistakes.
Smaller mistake which lead to bigger mistake.
Snowball effect.

It is really draining me out.
Mentally.
It transformeds me,
from someone who like to joke to someone serious;
from someone who are enthu about everything to someone who enthu about nothing;
from someone who is happy go lucky to someone who have lots to worry.
what is left,
it's only responsiblity,
not passion.
Perhaps,it's just doesnt suit me.
Initially I made the wrong decision.

It seems everyone is going to the states.
Today I met a girl who is going to NYU.
Jie Sheng went to Indiana University;
And a senior from my primary school is in Virgina University.
How I wish I can be there too.
I just need a change of place, a change of mood.
A new start of my life.

Happiness really don't last

I thought I was happy for the past few days.
My projects are almost done.
My friends are so nice and sweet.
My everything else is finally getting on the right track.

Finally I don't need worry too much for money,
Finally i don't need too much for results,
Finally I don't need to worry too much for my relationship with my mum.
But then it doesn't mean that I can stay happy forever.
There's always that something make me worried.

I think the amount of happiness in the world is fixed.
When you are happier, someone else is becoming more depressed.
So it's natural for your happiness to be taken away.
As usual, this year's chinese new year is not going to be a good one.
Mum is sickd again.

!

It has been sometimes since the last time I brought 4D.
Each of us chipped in 20cents to buy 4D.
But then sadly it didn't come out.
The number that comes out is 1774.
It's ok coz this is our first class investment.
There's more to come.

The location of a school really affects its student.
Who ask our school to be located opposite IMH?
That's why we are always so crazy.
But then I am happy to be crazy.
Happy to be in this crazy gang.

Me and Bestie

Teo Ah Moo is not in coz she is the photographer.

If I have enough money,I will travel around the world!

Table topic tomorrow, good luck for me.

I know I have to preserve.
But then I don't know how long is this motivation going to last.
This common test is really disappointing.
First time getting straight Bs.
Bamp is another disappointing thing.
I am really worried about the turn out rate and of course the other important problem.

But this time round I cannot run.
Coz I think people have placed faith in me
And I got to be strong and break it through.

It's problematic.
More problems than I can expect.
Well,what's the point of continuing when I sacrifice so much,
and get back merely unhappiness.
Tough time do not last,but tough people do.

Well,I started watching Little Nyonya after many people have recommended it.

I was not happy with the ending.

Since this drama is there to paint a nicer picture of life,

to fulfill the wish of people wanting to have true love,

to show how can people fight their own destiny,

then it should have a better ending.

I was expecting something like this:

After Yue Niang told her grand daughter the whole story, then she walked out the house and saw this old charming man.

This old man will be Chen Xi.Chen Xi knew that Yue Niang is alive after libby told him.

They finally got to see each other after 40 or 50 years.

Then end the screen the two stare at each other,

just like how they look at each other at the railway.

Of course.It's not always up to your own wish.

I was quite disappointed.

I have no idea that people can be so irresponsible.

Then my thoughts start to shake again.

Those thoughts appeared once again.

I shall decide what to do after tomorrow.

But I think I already have a decision in mind.

This happiness is just too vogue.

I should not be so greedy, demanding for everything.

I should be chasing after something that is practical.

Looking back at 2008

Many people are commenting about their 2008,
so am I.
2008 is not a very spendid year for me.
Fire,Accident and my close encounter with murder case.
Of course,there are good things.
It's just that I emphasize too much on bad thing and simply ignored all the good onces.

1.Study
My study was considered improved compared to 2007.
I got my first book price and director's list.
My GPA is acceptable.I should be proud of my achievements.

2.Friends
My gang:I have been knowing them about 4 to 5 years.Despite that there is some unhappiness caused due to misunderstanding, we are still keeping in touch and care for one another.Thank Bestie for always be there for me,thank yu rong for becoming more understanding,thank Ai Ping for being so cheerful and thank Sue Ying for being so sue ying.

My Poly Friends(TA 29/23/28):All those gatherings, chalet, chit chats have made us become closer and closer. I really cherish the time to be with you guys. Whenever I know that I won't be same class with u all again, it saddens me.Thank you Hiu Tung,Xue Feng,Kim Man,Sylvester,Horace,Logen,Hong Yi,Juin Wen for the laughters and joy.Knowing u all is my fortune.

My other ACC friends(TA 24gangs):It's really wonderful to hang out with u guys.Hui Hui, Ivian,Joel,Ivan,Geraldine and etc.Through one way or another, I get to hang out with u all and get to u all more.I will not forget all the happy moments we had together.

My other friends:
Thank all the TDP friends for bring me joy,knowledge and confidence.The old TDP friends and those new TDP friends.
Thank Mrs Ng for guiding me and being such a nice tutor cum friend to me.
Thank Sister for treating me as a sister and sharing my woes with me.
Thank all the dancer friends and Justis for leading me into dance though I really cannot make it.
Thank whomever I have not mentioned in the list.I have pulled through 2008 because of you.

3.CCAs
I have become more active in CCA in 2008.From Subcom to Main com,it's a tiring yet wonderful experience.I have learnt and growed. Thank for whom ever that give me support along the way.
Then, NAQ.Thank the lecturers for giving me such an important role though I didn't work hard.
I learnt dance and guitar,though I gave up half way,it's a great experience.

4.Work
Work is quite smooth sailing this year though I run out of money quite often.Abi and her mum treat me really nice.I even got another highly paid tuition.Telemarketing is not just profitable, it also teach me a lot in property industry.Hope 2009 I can earn more money.

5.Love
Still as usual.I didn't fell for anyone nor anyone fall for me.Though I have some weird feelings along the way, not not big enough to cause a wave. Mr right is not yet found and I will continue finding in 2009.

6.Personal
My mood swings drastially this year.My control is not in the right place.

Anyway, I hope in 2009 the good things can be better.Bad things can be blow off with the wind.
And hope financial crisis can recover soon,better before my attachment.

It's 2009!

Now.It's 2009.
One day ago is still 2008.
I have not work out my new year resolution yet,
neither have I did a good summary of 2009.
Countdown at east coast with society people,
first time celebrating new year in this way.

Then headed to Rosanna's chalet.
I don't know what's wrong with my phone or rather starthub network.
I tried to call,but cannot call out.
I almost cried along the changi road.
Fortunately,there's a lot of kindsouls around.
I managed to borrowed phone 3 times from strangers.
May God or any other deity that is available bless you for the rest of the year.

During Rose's sister's party,I was like running around with Ivan's camera.
It's pretty cool to take photos with SLR camera.
I should have learnt more about photography last time when I was more active in TXY.
I went home coz of my terrible voice.
And there is another reason behind it.

I got this weird feeling.
In order to prevent it from getting weirder,
I tried to stop it.
Hopefully what I did is effective.

Actually I had a lot of things want to say out,
but it is hard to say out.
Especially to the intended persons,
Sometimes I just don't know how to bring those things up.
I really hope that I can find a chance to straighten out my thoughts.
At least be more assured about those things.
Hope I can get this chance soon.

我好像好像飞，逃离这个疯狂的世界。
If I got to choose, I won't choose to born in this family.
If I got to choose,I won' want to be the me that I have been.

Leaving

刚刚从机场回来，捷升现在应该在太平洋的上空了吧。
本来还没觉得什么，直到她走了现在觉得有点难过。
以前的时候大家要见面就能见面，
现在好像都没什么机会了。
不知道什么时候才有可能见到她。
很多时候，人就是这样，
当东西失去了才会觉得珍惜。
希望她能好好保重，
好好照顾自己，
毕竟一个人在陌生的环境里生活是不容易的。

她的行李


United airways

离别的背影

我们

Ying Ying 和捷升



也许我们都该在失去之前学着去珍惜

This Christmas

Nothing fanciful about this christmas,
parties,gifts and friends.
I am alone on christmas eve again.Years and years,it is always the same.
2005,I am too sick to crawl out my house.
2006,I am working in conrad.
2007,I don't remember what I have done.
2008,gathering at bestie's house is cancelled.
Maybe I am just a bit unlucky with Christmas eve.

This christmas I received four very wonderful gifts.
1.A wallet that Bestie bought for me from Africa.
2.Customized name

3.Very lovely egg with my favourite cartoon character.

4.Sis bought me a saving box when I told her I am having finanical problem.

I think they both took ages to finish up them.
Ok.At least it will took me hours to do that.
Thank you so much for the wondeful wondeful gifts.
I really appreciate your efforts.

Chatted with my lovely friends in mac after the gathering.
My feeling is contradicting.
It's a wonderful feeling to have them around.
But then the fact that I will not be seeing them so often soon saddens me.

Oh.Ya..Why is bus/MRT service not extended on Christmas?
Hope every year my christmas can be so wonderful!
Looking forward to new year.
And hope i can get rid of financial crisis in 2009.

Finally I have sent the christmas cards out.
It took me ages to finish those cards
Sometimes I am just stuck with what to write.

2009 is coming.It's going to be a new start.

Maybe I am just an alien, human world is simply hard to understand.

Went for christmas party organized by Ivy just now.
Have many wows that I want to said out.
Wow No 1: There are people who can get lost in orchard.
In fact, we actually can get lost in orchard.
Though the condo is at orchard, we cannot find the place.
In the end,we end up taking cab to the place which is only 2 bus stop away.

Wow No 2:It's a small world.
According to Amanda,Ivy's sis, Lee Kuan Yew's grandchildren are there.
There are 2 very funny guys,in their 30s are said to be Lee Kuan Yew's grandchildren.
The only thing I can say it's what a small world.
Anyway it's a hearwarming christmas party,
nice place,nice food and nice people though I don't know them well.

Chatted with Bing Rong after the party.
It has been 4 years since we knew each other.
Time flys.We joined TXY 4 years ago.
Last time we were newbies,
last time we were super active,
last time we spent so much time in SPH.
Now no more,at least not for me.
Ever since I quitted from the role of group leader,
no. of trips to SPH dropped drastically.

Well, I didn't regret my decision.
If I didn't quit,then i won't have such time for school activities.
It's a trade-off.
But sometimes my decision will just let people down.
I think I have let Wei Zheng and many more down by quitting,
when they put so much hope on me,
I simply walked away with their hopes.

Hopefully in future I won't do that again,
at least I will have some control over myself before any decision is made.
Maybe more self-discipline,so that I can really start on my econos project soon.
Though my project is not going to save the world from the financial crisis,
it's going help to me pass my econs.

I just realize how much flaws I have.
In order to help me to become a better person,
you can feedback to me if you spoted any.
Though you may not give any dining voucher,
I will be thankful to your help.
Coz most of the times we cannot spot the flaws in ourselves.



One last thing is that though that I have not found any perfect man that I am longing for,
but thank God there are a lot of good woman around,like bestie.Life is wonderful with them around.
Monday I am going to disappear into natural reserve

Get to know yourself

Just came back from school,attended My Scholarship Experience,

what they shared is really useful, not just to application of scholarship,

but more towards personal development.

Well,I have been with myself for 19 years.

But how well do i know myself?

Today I am going to list down wat do i know about myself.

It's good to sort out your thoughts sometimes,

at least you won't be wondering about what you are doing.

1.What are your strength and weakness?

Strength:I am creative.I am full of new ideas and I like to implement new ideas to improve on the current situation.

I am friendly.I like to work socialize and make new friends.

I am enthusiastic.When I am doing what i like,I will put 101%into to make it happen.

Weakness:I am lacking of preverance.Sometimes when I encounter problems,then I will give up and not able to last.

I am emotional unstable.My mood swing uncontrollably and it affects my life.

2.What do you want to do in future?

Well, I want to change the world, at least make changes to the world.

I want to be a super rich who is able to make a difference in many people's life.

I want to set up a foundation, I want to build schools, I want to help the poor,I want to provide scholarships,I want to help people to get out of poverty.

In order to become a super rich,maybe I want to be an economist first, who can forecast the economic prospect of the world.

3.What do you like?

I like to play sports, trying new things,organizing event,making people happy,singing,watching movies, writing,donating money and giving out presents.

4.What you want do after you graduated from poly?

I want to go the states, I want to study economics or business in University of Pennsylvania.

Well, my answers sounds very noble and idealistic.No harm dreaming of big dreams.Hopefully I will have enough determination to work towards it.

If you want to sort out your life, if you don't want to have an aimless life,then think about it and write it down if you want.

It's really hard to go after your big dream.
Everyone has just one chance to live or rather if we are cats.
We can only choose one type of life style.
Can i afford to lose my dream?
I cannot,coz it's not just my dream,it's many people's dreams too.
I have to carry them out no matter of what.
Big dream,big ambition,big hope.
Yet the gap between dream and reality is big too.
Serious it is a tiring job or rather tiring life.
But I still have to chase after it.
It's a must.

I have developed this peculiar fondness towards writing movie review.
No facts but entirely opionions.
Watched the day the earth stood still yesterday.
It is a movie that I enjoyed a lot coz it got something to do with alien.
Though the plot is very predictable,i can guess almost the whole story out after the first 15 minutes,
the message they are trying to bring about is good.
If we continue to take earth for granted,
something will happen one day.
I like the part when they make critics about US government,
and the Obama campaign,we want change.
(Those things are not show in the movie,but implied)

Today I watched this 1939 movie,called gone with the wind.
If the prior movie I will give a rating of 7, this one will be a 9 or 9.5.
Though the background movie is bit old and technology is not so advance back then,
what you see through the movie is simplicity,what you feel through the movie is complexity.
If the movie is not good,it will not last until today.
Imagine 10 years later,will you still remember movies like House Bunny or Wild Child.

Watching movie is really a good thing.
Or rather watching good movie is really a good thing.
It stirs up your feelings,
It makes you reflect,
It help you to activate your brain.
More movies on my list,I am going to slowly enjoy them.

Sometimes when you want everything,then you may end up with nothing.

Craving for world peace

World peace.
Can I just have some peace?
Ending nagging and distrubance.
Why can't you just leave me with some peace?

All you want is the a perfect daughter.
Good grades,good conduct, good in everything.
But did she ever care about the enduring process.

Christmas party photos.
Christmas Atmosphere is everywhere.

Us with the super active kid.

Ice cream

At the door step.

A lot of things have been going through my mind this few days.
Let's explain those in economic terms.
Since economics is really useful to explain my point.
There is an opportunity cost behind everything.
You have to sacrifice some to gain some.

Whether to make the sacrifice or not,
you need to do a cost and benefit analysis.
But the problem I am having now is lack of information.
I cannot list down all the benefits and costs.
So it is hard for me to make comparison.

Enough of this confusing theories,
save the profoundness for the economist.
I still have a lot of plan yet to be executed.
Got to do them during the holidays.
For example,hiking to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve,Sugei Beloh
Visit to Museums,(Toys Museum,art museum, asian civilisation museum)
Exercise.(Tons of sports I want to do, espcially tennis.I want to learn tennis.)
Meet up with my lovely friends,
K box and many more things.

It has been long since we have such a good chat.
Stay happy and don't let anything affect u.

I am sorry,

I really feel sory towards someone at this point of time.
Sorry for not contributing.
Sorry for making you do all the work;
Sorry for not able share the workload with you.
Sek Kim Man,I am really.
You are the best.

In the mood for christmas

Though this is the common test period, but Christmas is coming!
Went to Rohei Christmas party yesterday.
So glad to see Ivy,Justin,Ciel and many more.
It has been long since I last saw them.

Christmas Tree and presents

Popcorns.

More photos to be uploaded when I receive them from Ciel. It's really nice to see them around.
It's a blessing that we get to know each other and we can still keep in touch with one another after so long.
So glad to hear that Jasmine and Tony are engaged.Hope they can hold their wedding soon,then I can have the chance to attend.haha

Thanks for the heart to heart talk,I am feeling so much better after talking to you.

Christmas is coming.More parties to come.

Finally I am done!

I am finally done with summary paper though there is a lot need to be edited.
I don't think I am going to do anything about the editing part.
It have totally drained me.
Even a doctor degree thesis is not so torturing.
Though I don't know how a doctor degree thesis is like.
For today alone,I have been spending more than 12 hours to do it.
Luckily it's all over now!


I shall study for common test.
Study for common test is not so taxing as doing the summary paper.
The amount of stress and workload almost drive me crazy
Entering into the world of economics tomorrow.
I have keep the faith though life is disappointing at times.
Evolution of the world does not mean that you have to change with the world.

I love powerpuff girls.Thanks for the support.

stagnant

I have been stuck in front of my lappy for hours and hours.
Half of the summary paper is completed. Still left another 10 or more pages to go.
The deadline is tomorrow.To be exact,I still got another 23 hours to the deadline.
40% and I cannot afford to fail.
As long as this term is over,I will be free.

Well, according to my friend's advice of taking an active approach,
I took the initiative to sms him yesterday.
But the answer is not as expected.
I think I am totally wrong.
Never mind.Anyway there is no possiblity between us.
Off to do my summary paper.

Happy thanksgiving day!

Sometimes lessons just get too bored,you will start to find things to entertain yourself.
We are the power puff girls.

Bubble, staring Kim Man.
Blossom, staring Xiao Tong.
Buttercup, staring me.
We are the powerpuff girls.

I deleted all the recent emo post.
Seriously I have no reason to emo.
Just chat up with a long time friend.
A friend I had for 13 years.

Thank you for your encouragement.
Thanks for everyone's concern.
I should look at the bright side.
I should not lose faith so easily.
Actually stress are nothing.There's definitely a way to solve all the problems.

Going to meet the Indonesian students tomorrow.

Sometimes thing just stop at the wrong timing.
It's going to be over soon.
Chances of seeing each other again is low.
Maybe it's just fate.

My class and me

I have not talk much about my class in poly,

it's not that I don't feel anything about it.
It's just that I dunno where to start and how to start.


Firstly,not for the sake of being politically correct,
I am really glad to be in class,not any other class.
From birthday celebration,outings,and heart to heart talk,
I can really feel the warmth of the class.
That's why i am so scared of lossing the feeling,lossing the bonding.
I tried hard to keep everyone feel the same way as I do,
I just hope everyone else can put in a little bit more effort to substain this feeling.
All relationship need to be maintained,is it?


Secondly,I want to apologise to all of them.
Sometimes my temper and emotion are just out of my control.
I have a very stubborn character.
Sorry for throwing tempers,showing attitudes at times.
I will try to control it and don't let it go out of hands.

This post is going to be long coz I want to write about a lot of people,
though they may not have the chance the to see this post.


1.Sylvester. I know sometimes you dunno what we are thinking,it's the same for me too.
Though we quarrel quite often,I regard you as one of my best guy friend.
Sometime u may say I am gaybo or something,it's just my way of showing concern.
I want to know how my friends are doing,but i dunno how to ask in a nicer manner.
Sometimes I dun mean what I have said,for example you are acting like a father.
It's a good thing to have such a friend,rather than someone who don't even care.
Sorry for the negative remarks.Sometimes my words just come out of my mouth without thinking. Hope you can understand that.


2.Xue Feng.If you think i am putting too much pressure on you,I am really sorry.
I just hope that I can do something to help my friends to achieve their dreams.I am scared of losing.I am scared of losing you too.
That's why I keep on bringing up the NRA issue.Just hope that beside dancing,you can still see friends like me. Really thanks a lot for listening to my endless woes and not so funny jokes.
You become one of the driving force to keep me going when I am lossing my momentum.


The rest of the people I will continue another day.I am tired and there is Bcom networking session tomorrow.Plus there is dialogue with permanent secretary of MTI tmr.I don't even have time to do tutorial.
Photos from amazing race trial.I finally got them.










Photos from xiao tong's birthday.
one photo from quite sometimes ago.
I feel the feeling is glowing inside me.Hopefully it's not the bad feeling again this time round.